Well, it's been forever, but I've had alot of things on my mind the past 4 months. So far, junior year has been pretty crazy. Kids are driving, dating new people, taking AP classes, and getting drunk. Through all of this, I've tried to really stand out in the crowd and show everyone who I'm living for, but it hasn't worked. On top of all that. I feel like I'm losing more and more Christian friends that I need in my life. The days dwindle on and I don't even know who to trust. I hurt more and more and feel so insignificant. I know it sounds selfish but sometimes I feel used by the world and the guys in it. But I can't move on and act like I don't love the people who have upset me. I've tried focusing my time on church, younglife, bible classes, campaigners, and youth, but it's not enough. I want to help people that are hurting like I am, even if they don't accept me at first. And I dont want to lose the friends that I already have. I love them too much and my heart is too attached to them to ever let that happen. We have had falling outs but God makes everything work out better in the end. Yeah, I'm not happy right now, in fact, I'm miserable. But I know I shouldn't be. This life is too important to focus on the negatives. God, please show me the way. I need to hear your voice. Come and fill my emptiness. Restore the relationships that have faded away. I'm never gonna give up. Your children are too precious to give up on. Tay, I'm sorry. It's been a rough beginning of school. But I just want you to know that no matter what I'm there for you. We'll have our ups and downs but don't you EVER think I'm going to leave you. I care about you too much to be that petty. You're too beautiful and special to be weighed down by the things that hurt you, ok? Just remember, the pain never lasts forever. God loves us too much to let that happen. Keep the faith. <3
"I'm still gonna pray
When things are good
And when things don't go my way
I will be strong
No matter what I go through
'Cause in the end
I'm still gonna pray"
Love you
Monday, September 26, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
God's Touch
Yesterday as I was driving to youth, the only reason I was looking forward to it was the fact that I was going to be able to hang with some of my best friends. I know that shouldn't be the focus, but at this point, there are so many controversies that it was almost painful to go- especially with the drama going on. So I got to youth, and some of my good friends were just sitting around, doing nothing. After I changed my clothes in the bathroom I came out and everyone was standing on the court to choose teams for basketball. We played for about 20 minutes andd everyone was getting along great. It took me a long time to realize that we were all getting along perfectly, besides the name calling that comes when you know a person well enough.
I also realized that all of the kids around me were comfortable with each other for the first time in a long time. All of us were completely happy, and it was almost peaceful to think about. I felt no tensions of any sort, and maybe I even felt a tint of love and caring flowing through our youth as well. Because our normal youth leader wasn't there, I didn't expect that we would do much but just chill and hang with everybody. But I guess when you have low expectations, that's when God takes the oppurtunity to really blow your mind.
We went into the sanctuary for worship and I expected to see the screen up with worship songs from youtube. But Aletheia and Clayton, 2 of our youth leaders, and Erica were up on stage. Clayton gave a word from his heart about how God was going to change hearts tonight. "I feel that God does not want us to be a Friday night, Sunday morning generation. He never wanted it to be that way. He wanted it to be an everyday thing. Tuesday monring eating Captain crunch, he wants you to feel his presence. Thursday night readin a book He wants you to know he's there. I know alot of you have broken hearts tonight. Girls, you are going to dance with Jesus tonight, and guys, you are going to let the things tha hold you back, being tough and putting on an act, flirting, you're gonna let it go tonight. If anyone is ready for a change, wants and needs to feel God and see him for who he truly is, please come up to the front."
There was not a single person who put down his offer. For about 30 minutes people were in groups praying over each other. God's presence truly poured into the church that night. People were crying tears of joy from His overwhelming love and joy that he poured into their hearts. The Lord had me sobbing just because I knew he was in that room healing kids that had pushed him away for so long, including me. I felt pain and anger that I had held in for so long literally be taken out of me, as love and forgiveness and compassion were poured in. I prayed over my friends and was priveleged enough to praise his name aloud without shame. Boys and girls- sons and daughters of the king came out of their comfort zones to weep and pray for each other. At that moment I realized I loved everyone in that room so much, it was almost painful, but in a good way.
I had prophetic words for a few people and then I realized something: God was just giving us a glimpse of what Camp Undignified and the rest of this summer is going to be like. As I prayed to him it was almost as if he said: Ebony, I love you, but this isn't even an ounce of what I have in store for all of you. You haven't seen anything yet." Just that thought was enough to make me smile, and bring me a peace that I had not accepted in a long time. Day by day, I knew he was going to continue breaking our hearts down so that he could stay in and comfort us. I prayed that the kids who weren't at youth could experience what we did that night. I feel like last night was God's way of showing us that even when the storm rages, He is capable of calming it with the touch of his hands. I walked out of the church feeling like God had embraced all of us and had plans for us that we couldn't even imagine. It was a pretty exciting feeling :)
Psalm 89:2, 8 I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself... O LORD God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you.
I also realized that all of the kids around me were comfortable with each other for the first time in a long time. All of us were completely happy, and it was almost peaceful to think about. I felt no tensions of any sort, and maybe I even felt a tint of love and caring flowing through our youth as well. Because our normal youth leader wasn't there, I didn't expect that we would do much but just chill and hang with everybody. But I guess when you have low expectations, that's when God takes the oppurtunity to really blow your mind.
We went into the sanctuary for worship and I expected to see the screen up with worship songs from youtube. But Aletheia and Clayton, 2 of our youth leaders, and Erica were up on stage. Clayton gave a word from his heart about how God was going to change hearts tonight. "I feel that God does not want us to be a Friday night, Sunday morning generation. He never wanted it to be that way. He wanted it to be an everyday thing. Tuesday monring eating Captain crunch, he wants you to feel his presence. Thursday night readin a book He wants you to know he's there. I know alot of you have broken hearts tonight. Girls, you are going to dance with Jesus tonight, and guys, you are going to let the things tha hold you back, being tough and putting on an act, flirting, you're gonna let it go tonight. If anyone is ready for a change, wants and needs to feel God and see him for who he truly is, please come up to the front."
There was not a single person who put down his offer. For about 30 minutes people were in groups praying over each other. God's presence truly poured into the church that night. People were crying tears of joy from His overwhelming love and joy that he poured into their hearts. The Lord had me sobbing just because I knew he was in that room healing kids that had pushed him away for so long, including me. I felt pain and anger that I had held in for so long literally be taken out of me, as love and forgiveness and compassion were poured in. I prayed over my friends and was priveleged enough to praise his name aloud without shame. Boys and girls- sons and daughters of the king came out of their comfort zones to weep and pray for each other. At that moment I realized I loved everyone in that room so much, it was almost painful, but in a good way.
I had prophetic words for a few people and then I realized something: God was just giving us a glimpse of what Camp Undignified and the rest of this summer is going to be like. As I prayed to him it was almost as if he said: Ebony, I love you, but this isn't even an ounce of what I have in store for all of you. You haven't seen anything yet." Just that thought was enough to make me smile, and bring me a peace that I had not accepted in a long time. Day by day, I knew he was going to continue breaking our hearts down so that he could stay in and comfort us. I prayed that the kids who weren't at youth could experience what we did that night. I feel like last night was God's way of showing us that even when the storm rages, He is capable of calming it with the touch of his hands. I walked out of the church feeling like God had embraced all of us and had plans for us that we couldn't even imagine. It was a pretty exciting feeling :)
Psalm 89:2, 8 I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself... O LORD God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Changes
Sophmore year was officially over on Friday, and what a year it's been! So many things have changed. for one, we're all a year older. Also, we're another year wiser. We have gone from being underclass sophmores to upper class juniors. In another year, we will be seniors graduating from high school and going our separate ways to learn, get jobs, and hopefully get married to raise a family.
I know changes are a part of life, but I think it is truly amazing how fast they can come about. One minute you have a friend, the next moment you're complete strangers. You trust somebody with your life, and they hurt you a week later. Especially in high school, changes can be quite painful. In my case, it was also damaging.
When you've had a friend for 5 years, it's not an easy thing when you have to tell them that the both of you can no longer be friends. No matter how much you try to put it behind you, it still stings every once in a while. I lost a friend towards the beginning of the 2011 year, and it still sucks looking back on it and seeing little by little how the friendship had already crumbled before we ended it. After that, I pretty much had a lukewarm attitude towards God, although I rarely opened up my feelings to the friends in my life that I probably should have talked about it to.
It feels like when things change in your life, you forget who you are living life for, unless the changes make you happy or relieved. I know for a fact that I have let my relationship with Christ become lukewarm, which is the last thing I want it to be as I continue going to church and try to reach out to others. I think that we often take the good things in life for granted, so that when something bad happens, we aren't prepared spiritually or emotionally, which leads to sadness or a detachment from Christ.
I am tired of always responding to changes in my life that way. I know in my heart that God makes everything happen for a reason: to make us stronger and wiser than we were before. But, so often I have to pray that God gives me the faith to trust in what He is doing in my life so that I don't have to worry as much. Fortunately, whenever something changes in your life, God always has a blessing around the corner.
It seems like with any friend I have lost, another friend has taken their place, and if I don't meet someone else, I feel content anyways. Let's be honest, if you have a friend who consantly makes you feel insignificant and mistreasts you, when things change and you go seperate ways, it's no too bad. This year God really tested me in making final decisions in who I was going to let into my life, and who I was going to have to let go of. I couldn't be happier with the results, because I finally know who my true friends are and can love them as Christ has always loved me, and try to love the ones who hurt me.
In my mind, changes don't always feel good, but from experience, something beautiful always comes out of them. Even if the sun doesn't shine for you on he days you feel that you need it, God is always going to be there, and his timing is perfect. If you stop worrying, your aspect of life can change as well. You will be happier, patient, and have better relationships with the ones you care about.
A couple of days ago I went to a bible study called SOl. We talked about being religious versus having a relationship with Jesus. I feel like lately I've made being Christian a chore. I try to pray everyday, read my bible, and get certain things done everyday. If I don't, then I feel like a failure and that I am not good enough for God. In turn, I become hypocritical and that is definitely a turn-off to non believers and believers alike. This year I want that to change in my life. Starting this summer. I'm tired of just dragging through life with a Christian label but not really making a change the way God calls us to.
I am very excited for what God has in store for my future and the future of my friends who are on similar walks with Christ. I feel that we are going to be in complete awe of the Creator in more points of our lives and go onto completely new levels with Him. Even though it will be so hard, I am willing to change for the one who made the ultimate sacrifice for those who never deserved it. Changes are a great thing when you have the perfect person to control it :)
“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”
-Anonymous
I know changes are a part of life, but I think it is truly amazing how fast they can come about. One minute you have a friend, the next moment you're complete strangers. You trust somebody with your life, and they hurt you a week later. Especially in high school, changes can be quite painful. In my case, it was also damaging.
When you've had a friend for 5 years, it's not an easy thing when you have to tell them that the both of you can no longer be friends. No matter how much you try to put it behind you, it still stings every once in a while. I lost a friend towards the beginning of the 2011 year, and it still sucks looking back on it and seeing little by little how the friendship had already crumbled before we ended it. After that, I pretty much had a lukewarm attitude towards God, although I rarely opened up my feelings to the friends in my life that I probably should have talked about it to.
It feels like when things change in your life, you forget who you are living life for, unless the changes make you happy or relieved. I know for a fact that I have let my relationship with Christ become lukewarm, which is the last thing I want it to be as I continue going to church and try to reach out to others. I think that we often take the good things in life for granted, so that when something bad happens, we aren't prepared spiritually or emotionally, which leads to sadness or a detachment from Christ.
I am tired of always responding to changes in my life that way. I know in my heart that God makes everything happen for a reason: to make us stronger and wiser than we were before. But, so often I have to pray that God gives me the faith to trust in what He is doing in my life so that I don't have to worry as much. Fortunately, whenever something changes in your life, God always has a blessing around the corner.
It seems like with any friend I have lost, another friend has taken their place, and if I don't meet someone else, I feel content anyways. Let's be honest, if you have a friend who consantly makes you feel insignificant and mistreasts you, when things change and you go seperate ways, it's no too bad. This year God really tested me in making final decisions in who I was going to let into my life, and who I was going to have to let go of. I couldn't be happier with the results, because I finally know who my true friends are and can love them as Christ has always loved me, and try to love the ones who hurt me.
In my mind, changes don't always feel good, but from experience, something beautiful always comes out of them. Even if the sun doesn't shine for you on he days you feel that you need it, God is always going to be there, and his timing is perfect. If you stop worrying, your aspect of life can change as well. You will be happier, patient, and have better relationships with the ones you care about.
A couple of days ago I went to a bible study called SOl. We talked about being religious versus having a relationship with Jesus. I feel like lately I've made being Christian a chore. I try to pray everyday, read my bible, and get certain things done everyday. If I don't, then I feel like a failure and that I am not good enough for God. In turn, I become hypocritical and that is definitely a turn-off to non believers and believers alike. This year I want that to change in my life. Starting this summer. I'm tired of just dragging through life with a Christian label but not really making a change the way God calls us to.
I am very excited for what God has in store for my future and the future of my friends who are on similar walks with Christ. I feel that we are going to be in complete awe of the Creator in more points of our lives and go onto completely new levels with Him. Even though it will be so hard, I am willing to change for the one who made the ultimate sacrifice for those who never deserved it. Changes are a great thing when you have the perfect person to control it :)
“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”
-Anonymous
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Dedication
I have a friend. Personally we haven't known each other well for nothing but 8 months now, but it feels like we've known each other since birth. I remember in 6th grade we were locker partners and really had no relationship whatsoever except "You know, people say I look like a grown woman." "Okay...?" *runs away* But, this girl has done so much for me and been such an incredible Christian example in my life. One of the most important lessons she has taught me is dedication. Whether it's in sports, school, or a relationship with God, she always tries her best to do what's right and reach for the stars.
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer
The other day she was telling me how sports have been really frustrating for her. All season she has barely gotten to play her position. Instead someone younger and less experienced is taking her place, even though the coach promised her to play a good amount this year. The coach acts like she doesn't believe in her and that she has no confidence. So one day she tried to address this to the coach and the coach began insulting her, calling her a liar and accusing her of playing badly while being SICK. The girls on her team look and act weird around her, and one of them will barely even talk to her.
Now I wouldn't have blamed her if she decided to tell off the coach and her teammates, and then leave the room with her bags and never look at any of them again. I wouldn't blame her for quitting because it would be awful to be on a team that you have worked for years to be on and then be mistreated and under- appreciated. That's not my friend though. As she's always told me, "I'm not a quitter." The next day at practice she gave more than her all and proved herself in the mile and finished in the top 4. Still, her coach isn't impressed and continues to act rudely towards her.
Being put through that pain and humiliation doesn't just take guts. It takes alot of faith and hardwork. Just for her to be able to wake up in the morning and know that God makes everything happen for a reason and to make us stronger, inspires me to be as persistent as her and defiant against the odds. Most kids would flee from the situation, but my friend, she has true grit. In the dictionary "grit" is defined as "Indomitable spirit." I'd say that's an understatement for this girl.
It takes an indomitable spirit to solely want to go back to practice and work your tail off for people who ultimately do not respect you or appreciate you. And to want to love and forgive them all the same is amazing in itself as well. I know how difficult it is, because I have struggled with it in the pass and I continue to this day to ask God to heal the pain other people inflict.
Basically, my friend is amazing. If I hadn't started talking to her this year, I know my life would be headed in a different direction right now. I would like to think (and know) that she is one of the people who have influenced me greatly this year to grow in my walk with Christ and never give up, no matter what the circumstances. Her love and compassion seem so unlimited and she has always been there for me to talk at night or pray for me or just be there when I'm lonely. Everyday I see her I can't help but smile and quietly thank God for blessing me with someone who legitimately cares about me enough to waste their time talking to little old me and who thinks of others before complaining about her own problems. She is such an astounding testament of God's love and mercy, and the dedication she has to please Him is so strong that it intimidates me at times. I love her all the same though, and I hope that one day I can repay her for being such a blessing in my life.
Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend. ~Plautus
Love you girl, stay strong :)
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer
The other day she was telling me how sports have been really frustrating for her. All season she has barely gotten to play her position. Instead someone younger and less experienced is taking her place, even though the coach promised her to play a good amount this year. The coach acts like she doesn't believe in her and that she has no confidence. So one day she tried to address this to the coach and the coach began insulting her, calling her a liar and accusing her of playing badly while being SICK. The girls on her team look and act weird around her, and one of them will barely even talk to her.
Now I wouldn't have blamed her if she decided to tell off the coach and her teammates, and then leave the room with her bags and never look at any of them again. I wouldn't blame her for quitting because it would be awful to be on a team that you have worked for years to be on and then be mistreated and under- appreciated. That's not my friend though. As she's always told me, "I'm not a quitter." The next day at practice she gave more than her all and proved herself in the mile and finished in the top 4. Still, her coach isn't impressed and continues to act rudely towards her.
Being put through that pain and humiliation doesn't just take guts. It takes alot of faith and hardwork. Just for her to be able to wake up in the morning and know that God makes everything happen for a reason and to make us stronger, inspires me to be as persistent as her and defiant against the odds. Most kids would flee from the situation, but my friend, she has true grit. In the dictionary "grit" is defined as "Indomitable spirit." I'd say that's an understatement for this girl.
It takes an indomitable spirit to solely want to go back to practice and work your tail off for people who ultimately do not respect you or appreciate you. And to want to love and forgive them all the same is amazing in itself as well. I know how difficult it is, because I have struggled with it in the pass and I continue to this day to ask God to heal the pain other people inflict.
Basically, my friend is amazing. If I hadn't started talking to her this year, I know my life would be headed in a different direction right now. I would like to think (and know) that she is one of the people who have influenced me greatly this year to grow in my walk with Christ and never give up, no matter what the circumstances. Her love and compassion seem so unlimited and she has always been there for me to talk at night or pray for me or just be there when I'm lonely. Everyday I see her I can't help but smile and quietly thank God for blessing me with someone who legitimately cares about me enough to waste their time talking to little old me and who thinks of others before complaining about her own problems. She is such an astounding testament of God's love and mercy, and the dedication she has to please Him is so strong that it intimidates me at times. I love her all the same though, and I hope that one day I can repay her for being such a blessing in my life.
Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend. ~Plautus
Love you girl, stay strong :)
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Vengeance is THE LORD's!
There has been alot of talk about the U.S. killing Osama bin Laden and how Americans are celebrating in our country. We have been in a war on terror for many years now, and yet I find people disgusted at the fact that the U.S. seals killed a man who killed thousands of people. How is it wrong to celebrate the justice that your fathers, mothers, friends, children, or boyfriend or girlfriend have deserved for years?
Alot of people try to say that taking away human life is wrong, and that God is against it. Yes, God clearly states in the Ten Commandments that "Thou shall not murder," but there are plenty of times when He found death the acceptable answer to a problem.
Hebrews 10:29- 31 states:
"29How much worse punishment do you suppose he will be judged to deserve who has spurned and trampled underfoot the Son of God, and who has considered the covenant blood by which he was consecrated common and unhallowed, thus profaning it and insulting and outraging the [Holy] Spirit [Who imparts] grace (the unmerited favor and blessing of God)?(A)
30For we know Him Who said, Vengeance is Mine I will repay says the Lord. And again, The Lord will judge and determine and solve and settle the cause and the cases of His people.(B)
31It is a fearful thing to incur the divine penalties and be cast into the hands of the living God!"
The fact that people are saying a human is a human and killing them is morally wrong, is out of their jurisdiction. When something is evil and unrighteous, GOD will handle it. He isn't and has NEVER solely been a peaceful God who solved all of the problems in the world through peace. For example, Judges 4: 23 says "On that day God subdued Jabin king of Canaan before the Israelites. And the hand of the Israelites pressed harder against Jabin king of Canaan until they destroyed him."
Jabin was a king who God had given the Israelites to because they had sinned against him. I'm not saying that this is the reason why Osama bin Laden was oppressing people, but hear me out. After a while the Israelites called out to God and He helped them to destroy Jabin. If it is the Lord's bidding to rid people of an evil man, how is it wrong? You cannot truly love God and say He was wrong about anything that has happened in this world. No matter how bad it seems, God will NEVER stop being perfect.
I won't make this blog post super long, but to make myself more clear, God rid the earth years and years ago of every single human being except Noah, his family, and animals through a flood. Those people who drowned worldwide were humans. God struck plagues on the people of Egypt when they would not let the Hebrews go, and he left the Israelites in the desert for many of them to die for 40 years. All of them were humans, not one superior to the other. Don't try to tell me that since we shot a terrorist, we don't have morals. God has morals. He invented the good ones.
I would say sorry if this blog offends anyone, but in all honesty, I don't care. Everything I said comes from His word and I wouldn't have it any other way. bin Laden was a terrorist who hurt many people and would have hurt many more. As it says in the Galatians, "You reap what you sow." We could never begin to comprehend the mind of God, His logic and the decisions he makes in our everyday lives, but we can begin to thank Him for the protection He gives us daily. Even King David celebrated after defeating his enemies.
Eph 2:8: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God"
To all of you guys who got something from this post tonight , I love you, and to all of you who didn't, I still love you all the same.
Goodnight :)
Alot of people try to say that taking away human life is wrong, and that God is against it. Yes, God clearly states in the Ten Commandments that "Thou shall not murder," but there are plenty of times when He found death the acceptable answer to a problem.
Hebrews 10:29- 31 states:
"29How much worse punishment do you suppose he will be judged to deserve who has spurned and trampled underfoot the Son of God, and who has considered the covenant blood by which he was consecrated common and unhallowed, thus profaning it and insulting and outraging the [Holy] Spirit [Who imparts] grace (the unmerited favor and blessing of God)?(A)
30For we know Him Who said, Vengeance is Mine I will repay says the Lord. And again, The Lord will judge and determine and solve and settle the cause and the cases of His people.(B)
31It is a fearful thing to incur the divine penalties and be cast into the hands of the living God!"
The fact that people are saying a human is a human and killing them is morally wrong, is out of their jurisdiction. When something is evil and unrighteous, GOD will handle it. He isn't and has NEVER solely been a peaceful God who solved all of the problems in the world through peace. For example, Judges 4: 23 says "On that day God subdued Jabin king of Canaan before the Israelites. And the hand of the Israelites pressed harder against Jabin king of Canaan until they destroyed him."
Jabin was a king who God had given the Israelites to because they had sinned against him. I'm not saying that this is the reason why Osama bin Laden was oppressing people, but hear me out. After a while the Israelites called out to God and He helped them to destroy Jabin. If it is the Lord's bidding to rid people of an evil man, how is it wrong? You cannot truly love God and say He was wrong about anything that has happened in this world. No matter how bad it seems, God will NEVER stop being perfect.
I won't make this blog post super long, but to make myself more clear, God rid the earth years and years ago of every single human being except Noah, his family, and animals through a flood. Those people who drowned worldwide were humans. God struck plagues on the people of Egypt when they would not let the Hebrews go, and he left the Israelites in the desert for many of them to die for 40 years. All of them were humans, not one superior to the other. Don't try to tell me that since we shot a terrorist, we don't have morals. God has morals. He invented the good ones.
I would say sorry if this blog offends anyone, but in all honesty, I don't care. Everything I said comes from His word and I wouldn't have it any other way. bin Laden was a terrorist who hurt many people and would have hurt many more. As it says in the Galatians, "You reap what you sow." We could never begin to comprehend the mind of God, His logic and the decisions he makes in our everyday lives, but we can begin to thank Him for the protection He gives us daily. Even King David celebrated after defeating his enemies.
Eph 2:8: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God"
To all of you guys who got something from this post tonight , I love you, and to all of you who didn't, I still love you all the same.
Goodnight :)
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Tree
I wanna be unmovable, unshakable
Let my roots go down deep.
Unmovable, unshakable
In you.
And I wanna be like a tree
Planted by the streams
of living water
This will be my song, God
This will be my prayer
Until the end, until the end.
Yesterday at church I sang this song with my friend, Preston. I was singing the melody and he sang a harmony to go along with it. During practice, it sounded amazing, and that's pretty strange to say because I always think that I sound awful when I sing and have no idea why people want me on stage. To be honest, I was nervous to sing it during church. I hated when people could hear my individual voice and I prayed God gave me the voice to praise him and do it all for His glory.
There was some time after practice to just fellowship with the team and chill out, but I really didn't want to talk anyone. I've had broken friendships in the past and unfortunately those friendships have been broken in the church, so sometimes when you don't have any of your true friends around, it can get awkward. Fortunately, my worship leader, and pastor's wife named Deneen came over and started talking to me. She asked me about tennis and I expected it to be a 2 minute conversation max. but it ended up being a 45- minute talk about salvation, superficial people, and the struggles kids go through in high school. It was a great talk, and it really inspired me. At that moment I realized that everything in my life that affected me was so insignificant, and that I wasn't going to be trapped in high school forever. God had a major purpose for me.
I guess that's what really motivated me to sing my heart out to God that morning when everyone arrived at church for worship. I just kept praying to myself Please God allow me to sing to you, and not get distracted by anything else, because the only thing that matters is you. When it came time for Preston and I to sing Tree, I lost all my nervousness, and I swear there was a voice coming from me that wasn't my own. I had this indescribable wave of joy come over me to know that those words were true, and that I was singing this to God not just to sing it, but tell him how I felt and where I wanted to be with him.
Over and over again I have told God that I am going to go all out for him, but fail to do so. Everytime I fail, I feel more like an insignificant mound of dirt. Espsecially in tennis. I find that it's so easy to just forget the promises I make to God to have a positive attitude and be a Christian influence to the people I play, but I often find myself cussing my oponenents out in my mind and thinking other ill thoughts. I've realized that this has to stop.
Right now I feel like a seedling, young and puny, but with a potential to grow. Lately, however, my roots have gotten really bitter and dried up. I want my heart to soften, and I want to become brave and be a consistent example to the people who don't know God. I see these amazing people at Younglife and older kids at my church and just think to myself "Wow, why can't I be that amazing?" or "Why can't I be happy and resilient like that?" I think it would be more helpful if I was able to go more like at the beginning of this year. Back then I felt more rooted in my walk with him.
I've decided not to let the little things get to me, because they don't matter. But GOD does. Right now more than ever I need Him and I am truly ready to forget everything else and live for Him. I want to serve people this summer (And I might be going on a missions trip to NYC this summer). God never said this life would be easy, and I truly believe that, but I'm tired of complaining, because it doesn't make things any better. All of the anger and frustration has no affect on the people I feel it towards, but it affects me. So from here on, I am going to work on planting myself in Jesus's name and being replenished by His living waters. When darkness surrounds me, I'm going to let God handle the situation and try not to worry as much. I have this feeling that something amazing is going to happen. I don't know where or when, but I know in God's time he is going to use me for something great.
1 Peter 5:9
Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
I'm hoping that I am not the only one in the world who feels unrooted and disconnected from God. I want more than anything to serve Him and release all the things I am holding back. Because lately, I've held back alot. Just to be living and breathing should bring me joy and give me a reason to walk with Him. But I can't do this alone. I need sisters in Christ like Kendall, Aletheia, Sarah, and Taylor. I know these girls will pull me through anything and help me on my journey as I transform into something completely different than before, and when the changes finally take place, I will finally be ready to march the battlefields along with my other brothers and sisters to advance His kingdom. Oh, btw, the most important, intangible thing in this world is LOVE. It has gotten me through so much and once it is received and acknowledged, it makes it even easier to deliver.
Isaiah 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
To all of you people out there who have been Godly influences to me, thank you. He is so proud of you, and although he loves you much more than I ever could, I still find the need to say that I love you too. (PS:If it's not too much to ask, could you please pray for me? I need all the support I can get :)
Let my roots go down deep.
Unmovable, unshakable
In you.
And I wanna be like a tree
Planted by the streams
of living water
This will be my song, God
This will be my prayer
Until the end, until the end.
Yesterday at church I sang this song with my friend, Preston. I was singing the melody and he sang a harmony to go along with it. During practice, it sounded amazing, and that's pretty strange to say because I always think that I sound awful when I sing and have no idea why people want me on stage. To be honest, I was nervous to sing it during church. I hated when people could hear my individual voice and I prayed God gave me the voice to praise him and do it all for His glory.
There was some time after practice to just fellowship with the team and chill out, but I really didn't want to talk anyone. I've had broken friendships in the past and unfortunately those friendships have been broken in the church, so sometimes when you don't have any of your true friends around, it can get awkward. Fortunately, my worship leader, and pastor's wife named Deneen came over and started talking to me. She asked me about tennis and I expected it to be a 2 minute conversation max. but it ended up being a 45- minute talk about salvation, superficial people, and the struggles kids go through in high school. It was a great talk, and it really inspired me. At that moment I realized that everything in my life that affected me was so insignificant, and that I wasn't going to be trapped in high school forever. God had a major purpose for me.
I guess that's what really motivated me to sing my heart out to God that morning when everyone arrived at church for worship. I just kept praying to myself Please God allow me to sing to you, and not get distracted by anything else, because the only thing that matters is you. When it came time for Preston and I to sing Tree, I lost all my nervousness, and I swear there was a voice coming from me that wasn't my own. I had this indescribable wave of joy come over me to know that those words were true, and that I was singing this to God not just to sing it, but tell him how I felt and where I wanted to be with him.
Over and over again I have told God that I am going to go all out for him, but fail to do so. Everytime I fail, I feel more like an insignificant mound of dirt. Espsecially in tennis. I find that it's so easy to just forget the promises I make to God to have a positive attitude and be a Christian influence to the people I play, but I often find myself cussing my oponenents out in my mind and thinking other ill thoughts. I've realized that this has to stop.
Right now I feel like a seedling, young and puny, but with a potential to grow. Lately, however, my roots have gotten really bitter and dried up. I want my heart to soften, and I want to become brave and be a consistent example to the people who don't know God. I see these amazing people at Younglife and older kids at my church and just think to myself "Wow, why can't I be that amazing?" or "Why can't I be happy and resilient like that?" I think it would be more helpful if I was able to go more like at the beginning of this year. Back then I felt more rooted in my walk with him.
I've decided not to let the little things get to me, because they don't matter. But GOD does. Right now more than ever I need Him and I am truly ready to forget everything else and live for Him. I want to serve people this summer (And I might be going on a missions trip to NYC this summer). God never said this life would be easy, and I truly believe that, but I'm tired of complaining, because it doesn't make things any better. All of the anger and frustration has no affect on the people I feel it towards, but it affects me. So from here on, I am going to work on planting myself in Jesus's name and being replenished by His living waters. When darkness surrounds me, I'm going to let God handle the situation and try not to worry as much. I have this feeling that something amazing is going to happen. I don't know where or when, but I know in God's time he is going to use me for something great.
1 Peter 5:9
Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.I'm hoping that I am not the only one in the world who feels unrooted and disconnected from God. I want more than anything to serve Him and release all the things I am holding back. Because lately, I've held back alot. Just to be living and breathing should bring me joy and give me a reason to walk with Him. But I can't do this alone. I need sisters in Christ like Kendall, Aletheia, Sarah, and Taylor. I know these girls will pull me through anything and help me on my journey as I transform into something completely different than before, and when the changes finally take place, I will finally be ready to march the battlefields along with my other brothers and sisters to advance His kingdom. Oh, btw, the most important, intangible thing in this world is LOVE. It has gotten me through so much and once it is received and acknowledged, it makes it even easier to deliver.
Isaiah 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
To all of you people out there who have been Godly influences to me, thank you. He is so proud of you, and although he loves you much more than I ever could, I still find the need to say that I love you too. (PS:If it's not too much to ask, could you please pray for me? I need all the support I can get :)
Thursday, April 7, 2011
The Love of a Father
When I was a baby, I had a really good relatonship with my dad. He loved younger kids and so he spoiled me half to death with candy, toys, and trips to Disney World. However, as I got older and my brother and sister were born, it seemed as if he had lost interest in me. Most of the time he was working at the hospital, but when he was home, I really only remember him yelling at me for the things I did wrong or bringing me down about something stupid that I said. I mean, I was a kid, what did he expect? The past two years, my relationship with my father had gotten worse. I got angry about him for every little thing and saw him as the parent I could not talk to about anything, nor did I want to. Honestly, the only thing in my mind that was positive about him was the fact that we got to go on really cool trips in the summer and spring.
With that in mind, I found more than ever that I had to rely on God as the male figure in my life to help me through problems and protect me, especially since my relationships with my male friends were so unstable and uncertain. I had pretty much blocked my dad out of my life. (My parents aren't divorced, they are still happly married, but for some reason growing up I just had no interest in having a relationship with my dad) My dad has always been very critical of me. Whether it was sports or academics or just my actions, it seemed like I was never good enough for him, and that upset me greatly. So, I figured I would just grow up trying to respect him the best I could and mouthing off whenever I felt like he didn't understand what was going on in my life.
My mom and I are very close. So many things have happened to me, especially in the past 2 years that have been very spiritually and emotionally draining. Being that my mom is a counselor and majored in psychology, she has always been the perfect person to talk to about my problems, and it's so easy to just vent to her. She has always been so supportive of me and helped me handle different situations so I can make the right decisions and show Christ through my actions. Lately I have been hurt by many people and whether they knew it or not, it was really affecting me. I was becoming bitter and no matter what people would say, I did not want to listen to them say "God has a plan for you" or "You have to have faith, things will get better." The worse one of all though, was "In God's time you will be healed." In all honesty, I didn't want to hear that. I was impatient and didnt want to wait for God's time because His time and my time were at completely different levels.
The past few nights, I just had outbursts of yelling and crying to my mom from anger and bitterness that was building up inside of me. I seriously was just sick of living this life and wanted to leave this earth. I know it sounds crazy, but I did. I was so tired of hurting and being mad and not feeling loved by so many people. Satan had completely made me unaware of the people who did love me and genuinely care about me. Kendall cared about me. So did Sarah Smith and Taylor and Emily. Not only that, but they loved me. But this did not occurr to me until 12:34 last night.
I went to bed angry, hating the world. My mom tried to say goodnight to me, but I just ignored her. I got into bed just laying there, steaming and knowing I would not fall asleep. Two minutes later, my dad came into the room and I had my head under the covers. Normally he just came in to open up the windows before bed, but this time he started talking to me. "Ebony, what's going on?" he asked me. "Nothing.." I replied bluntly. "There's obviously something going on if you had an attitude with your mother and have been acting withdrawn all day," he said back. So I told him everything. About how kids were mistreating me and how I was hurt about discord among my friends and unfairness going on at the one place I loved to attend more that anything that now felt like a burden to go to.
I don't remember everything from that night, because it was basically an hour of him talking and me just listening. But, these are the major points he conveyed to me that night:
1) Most people you meet in life will not have regard for your feelings
2) Forgiveness is for you, not the other person
3) If someone does wrong to you, all you can do is pray for them, and God will deal with them.
4) Vegeance is the LORD'S, not yours.
5) If you let the actions of others constantly upset you, then you will have a miserable life.
6) No matter what you're going though, God loves you more than anything and he puts people in your life to reassure you of that.
As my dad summed up all those things to me, in the middle of it I realized something. The voice coming out of my dad was actually the voice of Jesus, trying to comfort me. Thinking of this, I began to let even more tears shed as I listened to what he had to say. I felt my tense body slowly softening and my heart being reassembled as my father prayed over me to ask God to bring me peace in all my situations and to heal my broken heart. Also, my dad told me to start reading Psalms every morning and night. I read Psalm 23 and 27 this morning. With all that being said, I know God had that happen to me last night to let me know that no matter what, my dad was on my side and he loved me. After he kissed me on the forehead goodnight and left my room I realized for the first time how much I loved my daddy and had taken him for granted. I decided from that point that I wasn't gonna try to handle situations that were out of my control and I was gonna let God handle it all, because that's what he's here for.
Sorry for such a long story, but it was really weighing on my heart to write this. I hope that everyone who reads this, no matter how crappy your relationship may be with your dad or mom, that you not take them for granted. Deep down inside they all love us because that was the reason God gave them to us. And dont try to move mountains on your own. Make sure you have God alongside you to carry the foundation :)
Psalm 27:1-4
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple
With that in mind, I found more than ever that I had to rely on God as the male figure in my life to help me through problems and protect me, especially since my relationships with my male friends were so unstable and uncertain. I had pretty much blocked my dad out of my life. (My parents aren't divorced, they are still happly married, but for some reason growing up I just had no interest in having a relationship with my dad) My dad has always been very critical of me. Whether it was sports or academics or just my actions, it seemed like I was never good enough for him, and that upset me greatly. So, I figured I would just grow up trying to respect him the best I could and mouthing off whenever I felt like he didn't understand what was going on in my life.
My mom and I are very close. So many things have happened to me, especially in the past 2 years that have been very spiritually and emotionally draining. Being that my mom is a counselor and majored in psychology, she has always been the perfect person to talk to about my problems, and it's so easy to just vent to her. She has always been so supportive of me and helped me handle different situations so I can make the right decisions and show Christ through my actions. Lately I have been hurt by many people and whether they knew it or not, it was really affecting me. I was becoming bitter and no matter what people would say, I did not want to listen to them say "God has a plan for you" or "You have to have faith, things will get better." The worse one of all though, was "In God's time you will be healed." In all honesty, I didn't want to hear that. I was impatient and didnt want to wait for God's time because His time and my time were at completely different levels.
The past few nights, I just had outbursts of yelling and crying to my mom from anger and bitterness that was building up inside of me. I seriously was just sick of living this life and wanted to leave this earth. I know it sounds crazy, but I did. I was so tired of hurting and being mad and not feeling loved by so many people. Satan had completely made me unaware of the people who did love me and genuinely care about me. Kendall cared about me. So did Sarah Smith and Taylor and Emily. Not only that, but they loved me. But this did not occurr to me until 12:34 last night.
I went to bed angry, hating the world. My mom tried to say goodnight to me, but I just ignored her. I got into bed just laying there, steaming and knowing I would not fall asleep. Two minutes later, my dad came into the room and I had my head under the covers. Normally he just came in to open up the windows before bed, but this time he started talking to me. "Ebony, what's going on?" he asked me. "Nothing.." I replied bluntly. "There's obviously something going on if you had an attitude with your mother and have been acting withdrawn all day," he said back. So I told him everything. About how kids were mistreating me and how I was hurt about discord among my friends and unfairness going on at the one place I loved to attend more that anything that now felt like a burden to go to.
I don't remember everything from that night, because it was basically an hour of him talking and me just listening. But, these are the major points he conveyed to me that night:
1) Most people you meet in life will not have regard for your feelings
2) Forgiveness is for you, not the other person
3) If someone does wrong to you, all you can do is pray for them, and God will deal with them.
4) Vegeance is the LORD'S, not yours.
5) If you let the actions of others constantly upset you, then you will have a miserable life.
6) No matter what you're going though, God loves you more than anything and he puts people in your life to reassure you of that.
As my dad summed up all those things to me, in the middle of it I realized something. The voice coming out of my dad was actually the voice of Jesus, trying to comfort me. Thinking of this, I began to let even more tears shed as I listened to what he had to say. I felt my tense body slowly softening and my heart being reassembled as my father prayed over me to ask God to bring me peace in all my situations and to heal my broken heart. Also, my dad told me to start reading Psalms every morning and night. I read Psalm 23 and 27 this morning. With all that being said, I know God had that happen to me last night to let me know that no matter what, my dad was on my side and he loved me. After he kissed me on the forehead goodnight and left my room I realized for the first time how much I loved my daddy and had taken him for granted. I decided from that point that I wasn't gonna try to handle situations that were out of my control and I was gonna let God handle it all, because that's what he's here for.
Sorry for such a long story, but it was really weighing on my heart to write this. I hope that everyone who reads this, no matter how crappy your relationship may be with your dad or mom, that you not take them for granted. Deep down inside they all love us because that was the reason God gave them to us. And dont try to move mountains on your own. Make sure you have God alongside you to carry the foundation :)
Psalm 27:1-4
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked advance against me
to devour[a] me,
it is my enemies and my foes
who will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.
4 One thing I ask from the LORD, to devour[a] me,
it is my enemies and my foes
who will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple
Saturday, March 19, 2011
The Game of Faith
15-0. POW! She smacks the tennis ball at me and I fail to return it over the net. 5 seconds later: 40- 0. POW! She aces the ball at me and wins the first point. That one game only lasted about 30 seconds, but we still had plenty more rounds to go.
She is winning 5-3 and I am serving. I had never been so nervous in my life, but I was willing to take some chances. POW POW POW POW! I win the point in about 20 seconds, leaving her wide mouthed and angry. Her next point she decides that every shot I hit is out. It makes me so angry I can't even play right. After 5 times of her calling shots that were obviously in, out, I snapped. "NO, THAT SHOT WAS IN. SO YOU CAN GET OVER IT. BE A PERSON AND STOP CHEATING." I didn't mean for those words to come out, but they did. After that I was on a rampage.
I was franctically trying to get the ball in and hit it right. My coach had already told me to calm down and play my game. (Luckily she had not seen my outburst and neither had anyone else.) In my head I found myself talking to God. Dear God, please let me win this match. she is already beating me 5-4 and I don't want to have to work even harder to win the 2nd set. If I win, I promise I'll read my Bible more and be nicer to my siblings.
After the prayer I had just made while getting a sip of water, I felt terrible. Who was I to try to compromise with the One who 1) gave me my tennis abilities 2) created me and 3) could take anything I ever had away from me? Prayer isn't a time to compromise with God. In fact, it isn't a request for the things you want either.
Psalm 50:15 states:
"Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me."
Was I really in trouble because I was losing a tennis match? Or was I just being selfish and taking advantage of what I knew God could do? I most certainly wasn't being humble. If anything I was being arrogant towards the One who had saved me from so much already. Temptations, dating, healing of broken friendships, you name it. He was there.
As I was trying to let this sink in I was still playing in the match. This girl was mad after I had told her off about making bad calls. So, once I hit her the ball and she returned to hit me in the chest with a ball going at least 110 mph. I thought I was going to cry. "Ohh I'm sorry, you okay?" she said in a sarcastic tone. "Yeah, I'm.... fine." But I wasn't fine. I had never felt so angry in all my life. She was embarassing me and now she was not only hurting me mentally, but physically as well. Too bad the set was over- her winning 6-4. However, we still had a whole other set to go, and I knew more than ever that I was ready. My first serve I felt fresh. I was calculating the best place to hit the ball to her. "Love all, first serve," I stated. Then, a force took over me and I smacked the ball harder than I ever had before, and it planted right into her nose. She screamed and started yelping as she went to find a towel for her nose bleed. "Oh, I'm sorry, did that HURT?!"
It had felt so great to finally say those words, but seeing that hurt on her face made me realize how I had felt the whole match, and how I had let it all turn to bitterness. I hated that feeling. Then I looked to the sky and in my mind told God that I was sorry I just did that, and that I was being such an idiot. I wanted him to know that His will be done in the match, and it wasn't my decision anymore. I was playing for Him now. Not my team, not for the coach, and most certainly not for me. Now, I'm not going to say I didn't get frustrated after some points, because I did. But I tried to let God handle the situations and find rest in that He was right there with me. 2 hours later I had beaten her 7-5 in the second set and defeated her 10-7 in the tiebraker. Total game time: 3 hours. Longest match of my life, but I had gotten through it because of the glory and power of God.
I think it's amazing how God takes bad situations and turns them into important life lessons. It's also incredible how much faith can do for you. There's a song by Kutless called What Faith Can Do, and in one part it says "You gotta face the clouds to find that silver lining." Basically, this means you have to go through alot before you realize what you really need in life. God wants to supply you with everything necessary to live this life on earth. Sometimes we just get caught in the moment and forget who exactly we are fighting for. But I have a goal for the next time I see that girl. I am going to play her without showing obvious frustrations, and I will compliment her at the end of the match. This is the only way I can think of apologizing to her. From now on, I'm not just living for Christ, I'm playing for him too.
"We faintly hear, we dimly see,
In differing phrase we pray;
But dim or clear, we own in Him
The life, the truth, the way."
~John Greenleaf Whittier
She is winning 5-3 and I am serving. I had never been so nervous in my life, but I was willing to take some chances. POW POW POW POW! I win the point in about 20 seconds, leaving her wide mouthed and angry. Her next point she decides that every shot I hit is out. It makes me so angry I can't even play right. After 5 times of her calling shots that were obviously in, out, I snapped. "NO, THAT SHOT WAS IN. SO YOU CAN GET OVER IT. BE A PERSON AND STOP CHEATING." I didn't mean for those words to come out, but they did. After that I was on a rampage.
I was franctically trying to get the ball in and hit it right. My coach had already told me to calm down and play my game. (Luckily she had not seen my outburst and neither had anyone else.) In my head I found myself talking to God. Dear God, please let me win this match. she is already beating me 5-4 and I don't want to have to work even harder to win the 2nd set. If I win, I promise I'll read my Bible more and be nicer to my siblings.
After the prayer I had just made while getting a sip of water, I felt terrible. Who was I to try to compromise with the One who 1) gave me my tennis abilities 2) created me and 3) could take anything I ever had away from me? Prayer isn't a time to compromise with God. In fact, it isn't a request for the things you want either.
Psalm 50:15 states:
"Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me."
Was I really in trouble because I was losing a tennis match? Or was I just being selfish and taking advantage of what I knew God could do? I most certainly wasn't being humble. If anything I was being arrogant towards the One who had saved me from so much already. Temptations, dating, healing of broken friendships, you name it. He was there.
As I was trying to let this sink in I was still playing in the match. This girl was mad after I had told her off about making bad calls. So, once I hit her the ball and she returned to hit me in the chest with a ball going at least 110 mph. I thought I was going to cry. "Ohh I'm sorry, you okay?" she said in a sarcastic tone. "Yeah, I'm.... fine." But I wasn't fine. I had never felt so angry in all my life. She was embarassing me and now she was not only hurting me mentally, but physically as well. Too bad the set was over- her winning 6-4. However, we still had a whole other set to go, and I knew more than ever that I was ready. My first serve I felt fresh. I was calculating the best place to hit the ball to her. "Love all, first serve," I stated. Then, a force took over me and I smacked the ball harder than I ever had before, and it planted right into her nose. She screamed and started yelping as she went to find a towel for her nose bleed. "Oh, I'm sorry, did that HURT?!"
It had felt so great to finally say those words, but seeing that hurt on her face made me realize how I had felt the whole match, and how I had let it all turn to bitterness. I hated that feeling. Then I looked to the sky and in my mind told God that I was sorry I just did that, and that I was being such an idiot. I wanted him to know that His will be done in the match, and it wasn't my decision anymore. I was playing for Him now. Not my team, not for the coach, and most certainly not for me. Now, I'm not going to say I didn't get frustrated after some points, because I did. But I tried to let God handle the situations and find rest in that He was right there with me. 2 hours later I had beaten her 7-5 in the second set and defeated her 10-7 in the tiebraker. Total game time: 3 hours. Longest match of my life, but I had gotten through it because of the glory and power of God.
I think it's amazing how God takes bad situations and turns them into important life lessons. It's also incredible how much faith can do for you. There's a song by Kutless called What Faith Can Do, and in one part it says "You gotta face the clouds to find that silver lining." Basically, this means you have to go through alot before you realize what you really need in life. God wants to supply you with everything necessary to live this life on earth. Sometimes we just get caught in the moment and forget who exactly we are fighting for. But I have a goal for the next time I see that girl. I am going to play her without showing obvious frustrations, and I will compliment her at the end of the match. This is the only way I can think of apologizing to her. From now on, I'm not just living for Christ, I'm playing for him too.
"We faintly hear, we dimly see,
In differing phrase we pray;
But dim or clear, we own in Him
The life, the truth, the way."
~John Greenleaf Whittier
Friday, March 11, 2011
Mah Friend, Kendall Scott (She's legit)
Meet Kendall Scott! She's been playing soccer since she first learned how to do a flip in the womb. Ever since she’s never been able to put a ball down. Her mad black hops and speed enable her to be the best goalie in the world. Everyone loves her, especially God, cause she’s KENDALL SCOTT. People on other teams cower in fear when they see her bagel bag on the bench. Watch out, she might just want your body ;) Oh yeah, and she’s a hot mess, so bring the towels and iced tea! (and Lauren File)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
What is Home?
On Monday I went to All County YoungLife at Church of the Holy Spirit. It's a place for kids from Cave Spring, Hidden Valley, and PH to go and just fellowship and have a great time. After all the crazy games and songs the lights dimmed and a song was showing up on the huge screen against the wall. It was a song called "I'm coming home" by Diddy. Now in my opinion, he is a bad influence and has a foul mouth in most of his songs, but this one got to me. In one part of it the background singers say "I'm coming home, coming home. Tell the world that I'm coming home. Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday. I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes. I'm coming home." The whole song was basically about how you can have it all but in the end, you really have nothing unless you know where you are going.
After the song was over everyone was clapping and those lyrics just kept running through my head over and over. Goody, the leader of the YoungLife at PH told a story about a women who had internal bleeding for 12 years of her life. However, when she touched the cloak of Jesus she was instantly healed. That was brought on by faith. She didn't know who she was. Everyone thought she was rotten and disgusting because she had a disease, but she had faith that God could heal her. Not only did he heal her though, but he forgave her of every sin she had commited and told her to go live in peace. I think that's what it's like for alot of us. We want to be healed, but don't have the faith that God can do it for us. This is especially the case because we know we are sinners and screw up most of the time.
It's so easy to try to find comfort in being popular, having a sexual relationship with someone, or dealing drugs. We feel accepted. However, these are false sources of comfort and healing. Whether you admit it or not, everyone wants to know where they are going and what they have to look forward to in this life. Toward the end of the song, Diddy says
"Lot of fights, lot of scars, lot of battles
Lot of cars, lot of ups, lot of downs
Made it back, lost my dog
And here I stand, a better man!
Thank you Lord. I'm coming home!"
God will pull us through anything if we have the faith and believe that he will do so. There is a place out there that is far better than we could ever begin to imagine. A house isn't a home without the people you love, and who would be better to love than Jesus Christ?
There's a place out there that God has planned out for us in Heaven that has so much to offer. We can't settle for anything less than what He has already created for us. Don't try to get used to this life for too long, because to God, our lives are like a blink of an eye. Whether you have a home full of struggles and hurt or a functional family, this is not home. We all need to find the place where we belong, and that's in His presence. Alot of people say the safest place a baby can be is in his or her mother's arms. I'm here today to tell you that we are all God's children, and the safest place we will ever be is in his arms, in the kingdom we have been destined to live in for all eternity.
It takes faith to love and to hope and to trust. It takes courage to want to do the right things for the right God. This life is a privelege to take advantage of, and we have to believe that God can and WILL heal us of whatever struggles we have in our lives. Find peace in Jesus. He is the ultimate shelter. And if you don't have faith that He is here and always have been, well, just look at everything around you. He created it all.
“Faith makes all things possible.... love makes all things easy.”
After the song was over everyone was clapping and those lyrics just kept running through my head over and over. Goody, the leader of the YoungLife at PH told a story about a women who had internal bleeding for 12 years of her life. However, when she touched the cloak of Jesus she was instantly healed. That was brought on by faith. She didn't know who she was. Everyone thought she was rotten and disgusting because she had a disease, but she had faith that God could heal her. Not only did he heal her though, but he forgave her of every sin she had commited and told her to go live in peace. I think that's what it's like for alot of us. We want to be healed, but don't have the faith that God can do it for us. This is especially the case because we know we are sinners and screw up most of the time.
It's so easy to try to find comfort in being popular, having a sexual relationship with someone, or dealing drugs. We feel accepted. However, these are false sources of comfort and healing. Whether you admit it or not, everyone wants to know where they are going and what they have to look forward to in this life. Toward the end of the song, Diddy says
"Lot of fights, lot of scars, lot of battles
Lot of cars, lot of ups, lot of downs
Made it back, lost my dog
And here I stand, a better man!
Thank you Lord. I'm coming home!"
God will pull us through anything if we have the faith and believe that he will do so. There is a place out there that is far better than we could ever begin to imagine. A house isn't a home without the people you love, and who would be better to love than Jesus Christ?
There's a place out there that God has planned out for us in Heaven that has so much to offer. We can't settle for anything less than what He has already created for us. Don't try to get used to this life for too long, because to God, our lives are like a blink of an eye. Whether you have a home full of struggles and hurt or a functional family, this is not home. We all need to find the place where we belong, and that's in His presence. Alot of people say the safest place a baby can be is in his or her mother's arms. I'm here today to tell you that we are all God's children, and the safest place we will ever be is in his arms, in the kingdom we have been destined to live in for all eternity.
It takes faith to love and to hope and to trust. It takes courage to want to do the right things for the right God. This life is a privelege to take advantage of, and we have to believe that God can and WILL heal us of whatever struggles we have in our lives. Find peace in Jesus. He is the ultimate shelter. And if you don't have faith that He is here and always have been, well, just look at everything around you. He created it all.
“Faith makes all things possible.... love makes all things easy.”
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Fruit of the Spirit Part 5
Well. this is my last night focusing on the fruits of the spirit. Unfortunately I haven't had time to blog as much as I would like due to homework and sports, but God is good. The last two fruits I want to mention are goodness and faithfulness. When living this life, these fruits can be quite contradictory. As I think about salvation I realize that people have an extremely blurred view of it, and I would like to clarify that by talking about goodness first.
Many people believe that in order to get into Heaven, you merely have to be a good person. That means no cussing, gossiping, or yelling at people. If goodness was the only thing we needed to live with the Lord one day, doesn't it seem like we would be born perfect? I mean, God wants to see all of us again when we die. But it is not goodness that allows us to receive the blessings of the Almighty. FAITH is what allows us to enter His kingdom. Hebrews 11:1 says “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” God is not tangible but the faith we have for him and his son are what saves us. John 14:6 says
'Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' He never said "Be good and you will be with my father one day." He said NO ONE comes to the Father except through HIM alone! Following Jesus takes hope, love trust, and especially faith. There is no easy shortcut to this life. The only way is through Jesus Christ, and he is so worth it. I have no doubt in that. Focus on not only having faith in him, but being faithful to him by aiming to step up to advance his kingdom. Goodness and everything else will soon follow afterwards.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
I hope this made sense to everyone. And sorry it's so short. I pretty much knew the points I wanted to make in this beforehand :)
Many people believe that in order to get into Heaven, you merely have to be a good person. That means no cussing, gossiping, or yelling at people. If goodness was the only thing we needed to live with the Lord one day, doesn't it seem like we would be born perfect? I mean, God wants to see all of us again when we die. But it is not goodness that allows us to receive the blessings of the Almighty. FAITH is what allows us to enter His kingdom. Hebrews 11:1 says “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” God is not tangible but the faith we have for him and his son are what saves us. John 14:6 says
'Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' He never said "Be good and you will be with my father one day." He said NO ONE comes to the Father except through HIM alone! Following Jesus takes hope, love trust, and especially faith. There is no easy shortcut to this life. The only way is through Jesus Christ, and he is so worth it. I have no doubt in that. Focus on not only having faith in him, but being faithful to him by aiming to step up to advance his kingdom. Goodness and everything else will soon follow afterwards.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
I hope this made sense to everyone. And sorry it's so short. I pretty much knew the points I wanted to make in this beforehand :)
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Fruit of the Spirit Part 4
Ever met someone that you can't stand to be around? Most people I have asked this question, the answer is yes. There is always that one person who can just enter the room and automatically be on your bad side. Even though we aim to be nice to that one person, alot of times our motives become apathetic. We become cold towards them, and perhaps even rude. As Christians, we cannot choose who we are kind to and who we treat badly. God views us all the same and loves us all equally. He expects us to do the same.
That being said, I want to talk about kindness. It is indeed one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. How does it feel when someone treats you kindly when you first meet them? Does it make you feel good inside? Do you feel more significant and worthy of the attention? Or does it make you want to be a better person because someone else is treating you the way you want to be treated?
As a weekly church goer and an upcoming youth leader, I feel that there is alot expected from me, especially when it comes to my character. Whenever I am upset or angry at someone my mom is the first to correct me and never even give me a chance to respond to my anger. She tries to help me forget and react the way God would, which is easier said than done, being that I am still just a teenage girl. Unfortunately, I have a past that makes it hard for me to reflect the kindness that Jesus showed his people when he was on this earth. I would say that about 85% of every person I have ever called my friend has hurt me in a major way. Most of those people I don't even associate with anymore. When someone hurts you, the first thing you want to do is lash out at them, and then ignore them and give them dirty looks. If you're really bad you might gossip about them. In 3 years I have had to mature so much when it comes to broken relationships and heartache. I'm still not perfect, especially when it comes to letting things go. But I have learned many things by trying to deal with people who hurt me or have no regard for my feelings.
First of all, I've learned to keep this main question in my mind: What would Jesus do? It probably sounds corny, but it works. In Luke 33-34 it says: "And when they had come to the place called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the criminals, one on the right hand and the other on the left. Then Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.'' This verse always got to me. I mean, Jesus was not only the son of God, he WAS God. At any moment he could have sent fire and lightning down and vaporized every single person who sought to oppress and harm him, but instead he asked his Father to forgive them of their sins. I think that's what keeps me going and wanting to strive to be kind to people.
My mama has taught me alot since she gave birth to me nearly 16 years ago. One of the best advice she gave me though, was "Sweetie, there are going to be alot of people in your life that hurt you. But right now you need to find out who your true friends are and who you need to avoid. Through everything though, treat those who oppress you with love, and kill them with kindness." Isn't that awesome? The greatest revenge you can have is forgiving those who seek to bring you down. No one understands why you would ever be nice to them when they treated you like crap, and it really makes them think. How stupid do you think the Pharisees must have felt when they tried to call Jesus a liar? Instead of going into a rage and cursing them, he nearly stuck to the truth and responded calmly.
Kindness can be the ultimate source of revenge for you, and it also glorifies the Lord because being kind is what He called you to do. If he could have treated us with kindness all those years ago, why can't we do the same to each other? Is any of us really better than the other? I know I'm not any better than anyone on this earth, even though I act like it sometimes. So I guess what I am mainly saying is this: If you want to have a testimony and reach out to others in order for them to follow Christ, you have to make sacrifices. That includes showing kindness to those who persecute you. If you respond coldly and rudely, that testimony is blown. Believe me, once you blow your testimony, it's very hard to renew it. Love your enemies and be kind to them. It could just change their lives one day.
That being said, I want to talk about kindness. It is indeed one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. How does it feel when someone treats you kindly when you first meet them? Does it make you feel good inside? Do you feel more significant and worthy of the attention? Or does it make you want to be a better person because someone else is treating you the way you want to be treated?
As a weekly church goer and an upcoming youth leader, I feel that there is alot expected from me, especially when it comes to my character. Whenever I am upset or angry at someone my mom is the first to correct me and never even give me a chance to respond to my anger. She tries to help me forget and react the way God would, which is easier said than done, being that I am still just a teenage girl. Unfortunately, I have a past that makes it hard for me to reflect the kindness that Jesus showed his people when he was on this earth. I would say that about 85% of every person I have ever called my friend has hurt me in a major way. Most of those people I don't even associate with anymore. When someone hurts you, the first thing you want to do is lash out at them, and then ignore them and give them dirty looks. If you're really bad you might gossip about them. In 3 years I have had to mature so much when it comes to broken relationships and heartache. I'm still not perfect, especially when it comes to letting things go. But I have learned many things by trying to deal with people who hurt me or have no regard for my feelings.
First of all, I've learned to keep this main question in my mind: What would Jesus do? It probably sounds corny, but it works. In Luke 33-34 it says: "And when they had come to the place called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the criminals, one on the right hand and the other on the left. Then Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.'' This verse always got to me. I mean, Jesus was not only the son of God, he WAS God. At any moment he could have sent fire and lightning down and vaporized every single person who sought to oppress and harm him, but instead he asked his Father to forgive them of their sins. I think that's what keeps me going and wanting to strive to be kind to people.
My mama has taught me alot since she gave birth to me nearly 16 years ago. One of the best advice she gave me though, was "Sweetie, there are going to be alot of people in your life that hurt you. But right now you need to find out who your true friends are and who you need to avoid. Through everything though, treat those who oppress you with love, and kill them with kindness." Isn't that awesome? The greatest revenge you can have is forgiving those who seek to bring you down. No one understands why you would ever be nice to them when they treated you like crap, and it really makes them think. How stupid do you think the Pharisees must have felt when they tried to call Jesus a liar? Instead of going into a rage and cursing them, he nearly stuck to the truth and responded calmly.
Kindness can be the ultimate source of revenge for you, and it also glorifies the Lord because being kind is what He called you to do. If he could have treated us with kindness all those years ago, why can't we do the same to each other? Is any of us really better than the other? I know I'm not any better than anyone on this earth, even though I act like it sometimes. So I guess what I am mainly saying is this: If you want to have a testimony and reach out to others in order for them to follow Christ, you have to make sacrifices. That includes showing kindness to those who persecute you. If you respond coldly and rudely, that testimony is blown. Believe me, once you blow your testimony, it's very hard to renew it. Love your enemies and be kind to them. It could just change their lives one day.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Fruit of the Spirit Part 3
"Patience is a virtue." I can't remember how many times I have heard my parents or an older adult say this. Whether its waiting in line at the buffet, or for your turn on the swingset, or maybe just to grow up, you have to learn to be patient. This is DEFINITELY not one of my strong points. But, in the Bible even God says that one major fruit of the spirit is patience. Sometimes that seems so impossible. You lose your temper at your sibling for stealing your phone and you may push past a student who is walking too slow in the hallway. Even as Christians, patience doesn't come easy. You get frustrated, and tested and sometimes just feel like you need to forget everything you've been living for. You burst every once in a while into fury and rage because of lack of patience.
Think about this for a moment: What if God was not patient with us? Would we still be here? Or would we have a one way ticket in the opposite direction..? He wanted to teach us patience through his nurturing and kindness. However, even God's patience has been tested at times. Genesis 6:1 "God saw how great wickedness had become and decided to wipe mankind from the face of the earth." His loss of patience is different from ours, though. He has the ultimate plan for everything and always calms the storm after His wrath rages through. I think that the reason he wanted us to learn patience and exercise it in life is because without it, we could not find peace.
I don't know of alot of people who are peaceful when they are aggravated, trying to control irritation to the thing that is bothering them. I do know this though: When I was at ADORE (my youth group's conference in PA), I came with a spiritually impatient mindset. It was as if I listed everything I expected out of God, and if He took too long then I would go on my merry way. When worship started, my one friend came up to me to tell me how much they cherished me as a friend and wanted to build our friendship. It was definitely a humbling experience for me and I knew it was God's way of saying things always come in his time and I needed to have the patience/faith to go along with his plans. There wasn't to be any hesitation or doubt involved.
After that incident, it felt like I was just being wrapped in a huge hug by somebody, but no one was there. Then I felt this incredible warmth and I realized something. I was at complete peace in my spirit, which is another healthy fruit, maybe one of the most important. All of the things that had been tugging at my heart seemed to fall off of me and drift away. I wasn't worried. I wasn't scared. All I was focusing on was the Lord, and that calmed me more than anything ever had in my life. To be at peace with an Almighty God is a great feeling, but to know that He is responsible for instilling that tranquility into your soul is greater.
Dear Lord, I know I ask for so much already, but I pray that you help all of your sons and daughters to feel Your peace. It is so much easier to love, have joy, and be patient when there is nothing holding us down or pestering us. Bless those who are hurting and who are on the fence when it comes to seeking You. I also pray that You continue to bless those who have found You and that they will stay on this track with you forever. I love You with all the capacity in my heart, and You know that. In Jesus's name, Amen.
The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace.
(Psalm 29:11)
Think about this for a moment: What if God was not patient with us? Would we still be here? Or would we have a one way ticket in the opposite direction..? He wanted to teach us patience through his nurturing and kindness. However, even God's patience has been tested at times. Genesis 6:1 "God saw how great wickedness had become and decided to wipe mankind from the face of the earth." His loss of patience is different from ours, though. He has the ultimate plan for everything and always calms the storm after His wrath rages through. I think that the reason he wanted us to learn patience and exercise it in life is because without it, we could not find peace.
I don't know of alot of people who are peaceful when they are aggravated, trying to control irritation to the thing that is bothering them. I do know this though: When I was at ADORE (my youth group's conference in PA), I came with a spiritually impatient mindset. It was as if I listed everything I expected out of God, and if He took too long then I would go on my merry way. When worship started, my one friend came up to me to tell me how much they cherished me as a friend and wanted to build our friendship. It was definitely a humbling experience for me and I knew it was God's way of saying things always come in his time and I needed to have the patience/faith to go along with his plans. There wasn't to be any hesitation or doubt involved.
After that incident, it felt like I was just being wrapped in a huge hug by somebody, but no one was there. Then I felt this incredible warmth and I realized something. I was at complete peace in my spirit, which is another healthy fruit, maybe one of the most important. All of the things that had been tugging at my heart seemed to fall off of me and drift away. I wasn't worried. I wasn't scared. All I was focusing on was the Lord, and that calmed me more than anything ever had in my life. To be at peace with an Almighty God is a great feeling, but to know that He is responsible for instilling that tranquility into your soul is greater.
Dear Lord, I know I ask for so much already, but I pray that you help all of your sons and daughters to feel Your peace. It is so much easier to love, have joy, and be patient when there is nothing holding us down or pestering us. Bless those who are hurting and who are on the fence when it comes to seeking You. I also pray that You continue to bless those who have found You and that they will stay on this track with you forever. I love You with all the capacity in my heart, and You know that. In Jesus's name, Amen.
The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace. (Psalm 29:11)
Monday, February 21, 2011
Fruit of the Spirit Part 2
Last weekend I went to an event that is the MAJOR turning point in my relationship with Jesus Christ. The name of it was ADORE. The main focus of this youth conference was to recognize the pure adoration we should have towards our God and the love we need to return back to him. I had never been in a place with so much love and potential among teens in my life!
On the way there (the 10 hour van ride to Bethlehem, PA) I am going to admit that I had my doubts. Don't get me wrong, I really wanted to see God move me and so many others not just in my youth group, but kids that were coming to the conference that weekend. Inside I just felt like I was kinda on a loose chain with God and didn't deserve to be exposed to His glory and power for an entire weekend. I felt so insignificant. Just think about it: We serve an all powerful, perfect, and righteous being. So why did I deserve His grace and forgiveness? The truth is, I didn't. I felt like I had done nothing in my life to glorify God and make a difference.
That night I got the privilege to see my best friend give up her life to Jesus Christ and serve Him. It overwhelmed me to the point of tears and at that moment I knew God's presence was in that place. Actually, He had been there the whole time and I was just too stupid to realize it. One kid who was about 16 stood up and talked about how he wanted our generation to make a difference in a world of lust, lies, violence, and pain. He wanted us to be the generation that tore down the walls and are prepared to be warriors for God to make him proud and shut the devil up. I couldn't have agreed more with what he said. This world is going into worse and worse condition, and we need to have the strength and faith to know that we can touch people's hearts and conquer any battle through God as our shield.
Now about love and joy, the last hour of Adore was dedicated to prayer over people in the building. There were so many other amazing things that happened, but I wanted to focus on this. As we prayed and just lifted our hands to God to praise Him and thank Him for our dysfunctional families, I realized something. I loved EVERY single person in that room. Even though I only knew 7% of them, I loved them all to death. They were all my brothers and sisters and I realized that God had brought us together for the same cause, even if we lived hundreds of miles away from each other. The love I felt, however, would not have been possible if it wasn't for the neverending love that Jesus has shown me all my life. Same with the joy that came when I realized my love for these kids. Love and joy surpass any feeling a human being can have for 2 main reasons.
1) God radiates a love so great and so deep that we can't help but want to drown in it.
2)When we drown in that love, it brings us joy.
Bitterness can't make you happy. Regret doesn't cheer you up. Hatred doesnt make you want to sing a happy tune. It's the love that you give out to people. But the more you give out, the more you will receive from your heavenly father. Seek His joy and you will be blessed beyond comprehension.
Psalm 97:11-12 - "Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart. Rejoice in the LORD, you who are righteous, and praise his holy name."
To those of you still reading, thank you for the support. I love every single one of you. And thats the truth :)
On the way there (the 10 hour van ride to Bethlehem, PA) I am going to admit that I had my doubts. Don't get me wrong, I really wanted to see God move me and so many others not just in my youth group, but kids that were coming to the conference that weekend. Inside I just felt like I was kinda on a loose chain with God and didn't deserve to be exposed to His glory and power for an entire weekend. I felt so insignificant. Just think about it: We serve an all powerful, perfect, and righteous being. So why did I deserve His grace and forgiveness? The truth is, I didn't. I felt like I had done nothing in my life to glorify God and make a difference.
That night I got the privilege to see my best friend give up her life to Jesus Christ and serve Him. It overwhelmed me to the point of tears and at that moment I knew God's presence was in that place. Actually, He had been there the whole time and I was just too stupid to realize it. One kid who was about 16 stood up and talked about how he wanted our generation to make a difference in a world of lust, lies, violence, and pain. He wanted us to be the generation that tore down the walls and are prepared to be warriors for God to make him proud and shut the devil up. I couldn't have agreed more with what he said. This world is going into worse and worse condition, and we need to have the strength and faith to know that we can touch people's hearts and conquer any battle through God as our shield.
Now about love and joy, the last hour of Adore was dedicated to prayer over people in the building. There were so many other amazing things that happened, but I wanted to focus on this. As we prayed and just lifted our hands to God to praise Him and thank Him for our dysfunctional families, I realized something. I loved EVERY single person in that room. Even though I only knew 7% of them, I loved them all to death. They were all my brothers and sisters and I realized that God had brought us together for the same cause, even if we lived hundreds of miles away from each other. The love I felt, however, would not have been possible if it wasn't for the neverending love that Jesus has shown me all my life. Same with the joy that came when I realized my love for these kids. Love and joy surpass any feeling a human being can have for 2 main reasons.
1) God radiates a love so great and so deep that we can't help but want to drown in it.
2)When we drown in that love, it brings us joy.
Bitterness can't make you happy. Regret doesn't cheer you up. Hatred doesnt make you want to sing a happy tune. It's the love that you give out to people. But the more you give out, the more you will receive from your heavenly father. Seek His joy and you will be blessed beyond comprehension.
Psalm 97:11-12 - "Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart. Rejoice in the LORD, you who are righteous, and praise his holy name."
To those of you still reading, thank you for the support. I love every single one of you. And thats the truth :)
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Fruit of The Spirit Part I
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. -Galatians 5:22-27
Everyday I try to live by these things and fail. It is so hard sometimes to wrap yourself in the peaceful things God knows that we will love and live for in order to be a part of His kingdom. In the above verses, you are not merely being informed about fruits that the Holy Spirit enjoys to endulge in. You are being directed into a new way of living your life. I have a challenge for myself and anyone else who is reading this blog. Every day I will focus on one or two fruits of the spirit, and will try to reflect my actions that day by those fruits. Also, at the end of the day I plan to talk about that specific fruit of the spirit to make it clearer as to what God means by each trait in order to live the right way.
I am going to start focusing on love and joy after I return from a youth conference I am going to this weekend called ADORE.. Like I said in a previous post, love and joy definitely do not come naturally, and these emotions do not linger with us 24/7, but they are there when it really counts. I can't wait to see what God has in store for this weekend.
Everyday I try to live by these things and fail. It is so hard sometimes to wrap yourself in the peaceful things God knows that we will love and live for in order to be a part of His kingdom. In the above verses, you are not merely being informed about fruits that the Holy Spirit enjoys to endulge in. You are being directed into a new way of living your life. I have a challenge for myself and anyone else who is reading this blog. Every day I will focus on one or two fruits of the spirit, and will try to reflect my actions that day by those fruits. Also, at the end of the day I plan to talk about that specific fruit of the spirit to make it clearer as to what God means by each trait in order to live the right way.
I am going to start focusing on love and joy after I return from a youth conference I am going to this weekend called ADORE.. Like I said in a previous post, love and joy definitely do not come naturally, and these emotions do not linger with us 24/7, but they are there when it really counts. I can't wait to see what God has in store for this weekend.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Joy Isn't Always Guaranteed.
There are alot of depressed people in this world. It doesn't matter what economic, social, or religious background you come from. Gender has nothing to do with it either. Kinda makes you wonder what is wrong with the world nowadays.
I have many friends who are Christian but often find themselves becoming very sad or depressed about things going on in their lives. I often hear them say things like "I'm following God. Why am I always so unhappy?" or "Weren't we supposed to be granted eternal happiness by turning to this life?" They haven't said these exact words, but that's basically the main idea behind it.
Today I was talking to someone I am really close to. She is intelligient, funny, brave, and has an amazing relationship with Jesus Christ. As we were talking about growing up and life in general, she said this to me "You are going to be a leader among your peers. Your influence as a Christian is going to make a huge impact on those younger than you, whether it be spiritually or in age. And I'll be honest with you, sometimes this life is gonna suck, because you have so much expected out of you. But in the end God has an ultimate purpose and you won't be upset and frustrated all the time."
Even as Christians, God never guaranteed us a perfect life on this earth. Whether we like it or not, we are going to struggle, suffer, hurt, and go through stages of sadness or depression. There was never anything in our "salvation" contract that said: Oh yeah, if you follow me then you will be happy your entire life. It just doesn't work like that. We all have emotions and mountains that we will constantly have to climb.
Some people may say that this is harsh, or think: If God really loved me, he wouldn't want me to suffer. He would want me to be happy all the time and float cloud 9 constantly. If we were always on that spiritual high, without a care in the world and constantly content, imagine how boring life would be. We would only have one emotion, no one could relate to each other's feelings, and you could not reach out to others because when someone is happy, they figure life is good and they don't need someone like God to influence their lives. Also, take this into consideration. God sent his ONE and ONLY son down from heaven to save us from an eternal death in hell. Jesus, the son of God, was perfect. He did not deserve to feel human emotions or pain, but he suffered nonetheless for everyone who is on this earth, and who will be on this earth in the future. He was beaten, spit on, bruised, stabbed, ripped apart, and hung on a cross. Yet we complain about whenever we aren't super happy and bouncing off the walls.
God sends His love and joy in subtle bursts. He only allows you to feel his overwhelming joy when you most need it in life. Sometimes you can find joy just by serving Him. Normally it doesn't come from earthly things, at least not in a Christian lifestyle. But for heaven's sake, don't expect to be in a state of eternal bliss all the time! After all God has done for you to nurture and take care of you, that should be enough to have you jumping out of your seat dancing for joy. Now don't get me wrong. I am guilty of taking my life for granted and the things God has blessed me with. I can admit to that. But the point is, find happiness in the grace he has given you and don't be discouraged when you are unhappy. That is just a part of human nature, and it never lasts forever.
Job 36:11:
If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.
I have many friends who are Christian but often find themselves becoming very sad or depressed about things going on in their lives. I often hear them say things like "I'm following God. Why am I always so unhappy?" or "Weren't we supposed to be granted eternal happiness by turning to this life?" They haven't said these exact words, but that's basically the main idea behind it.
Today I was talking to someone I am really close to. She is intelligient, funny, brave, and has an amazing relationship with Jesus Christ. As we were talking about growing up and life in general, she said this to me "You are going to be a leader among your peers. Your influence as a Christian is going to make a huge impact on those younger than you, whether it be spiritually or in age. And I'll be honest with you, sometimes this life is gonna suck, because you have so much expected out of you. But in the end God has an ultimate purpose and you won't be upset and frustrated all the time."
Even as Christians, God never guaranteed us a perfect life on this earth. Whether we like it or not, we are going to struggle, suffer, hurt, and go through stages of sadness or depression. There was never anything in our "salvation" contract that said: Oh yeah, if you follow me then you will be happy your entire life. It just doesn't work like that. We all have emotions and mountains that we will constantly have to climb.
Some people may say that this is harsh, or think: If God really loved me, he wouldn't want me to suffer. He would want me to be happy all the time and float cloud 9 constantly. If we were always on that spiritual high, without a care in the world and constantly content, imagine how boring life would be. We would only have one emotion, no one could relate to each other's feelings, and you could not reach out to others because when someone is happy, they figure life is good and they don't need someone like God to influence their lives. Also, take this into consideration. God sent his ONE and ONLY son down from heaven to save us from an eternal death in hell. Jesus, the son of God, was perfect. He did not deserve to feel human emotions or pain, but he suffered nonetheless for everyone who is on this earth, and who will be on this earth in the future. He was beaten, spit on, bruised, stabbed, ripped apart, and hung on a cross. Yet we complain about whenever we aren't super happy and bouncing off the walls.
God sends His love and joy in subtle bursts. He only allows you to feel his overwhelming joy when you most need it in life. Sometimes you can find joy just by serving Him. Normally it doesn't come from earthly things, at least not in a Christian lifestyle. But for heaven's sake, don't expect to be in a state of eternal bliss all the time! After all God has done for you to nurture and take care of you, that should be enough to have you jumping out of your seat dancing for joy. Now don't get me wrong. I am guilty of taking my life for granted and the things God has blessed me with. I can admit to that. But the point is, find happiness in the grace he has given you and don't be discouraged when you are unhappy. That is just a part of human nature, and it never lasts forever.
Job 36:11:
If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Patience and Faith in Love
I was reading the blog post of a friend of mine the other day. Basically, she was stating how many times girls need a guy in order to feel content in life, or to make us feel significant and valuable. And I agree with her, why is that? At one point of another we have all been guilty of letting a guy influence what we wear, how we act, and where we go. Whether or not he has good or bad intentions in mind, we go along with it because we feel that somehow it will fill a void that has been empty in our hearts.
I would say that my friends are predominately Christian, or building a relationship with Jesus Christ. I have seen them all struggle with these problems at one point or another, and so have I. But sometimes, I don't understand why we don't just find that comfort and acceptance in the man we are supposed to be married to before an earthly guy- his name is God! He is married to the church (us) and wants to take care of us, love us, protect us, and make us feel special. All we have to do is love Him back, but many times we want to receive acceptance from earthly things instead of spiritual beings.
After reading her blog, I began to think of the character Mandy Moore played, named Jamie in A Walk to Remember. (Btw, if you haven't seen this movie, rent it, borrow it from a friend, even steal it! Well, don't steal it, but you get the idea.) She was a pastor's daughter, which basically means that everyone expected her to be perfect and not screw up at anything. This led to resentment from her peers and a great understanding for human emotions. When one of the popular boys, named Landon was forced to participate in the school play after getting in trouble, she could see his broken life and wanted to help him. Her only condition? That he wouldn't fall in love with her.
As they began to work on the play, Landon did in fact begin to fall in love with Jamie, but not that premature "love" where a guy just thinks the girl is hot and wants to sleep with her. Jamie set limits for him, and for a while refused to even go on dates with him and define herself as his girlfriend. She didn't need to feel special by him kissing her or even holding her close, although that wasn't something she hated either. As she had shown him by the middle of the movie, she had God taking care of her. He had shown her a love and comfort so deep that it had gotten her through school all those years of girls insulting her and boys treating her like a zebra in a herd of lions.
The part of the movie I loved the most was when Jamie told Landon she had a terminal illness. This is the point where you saw his true character. He was so upset and concerned with this fragile girl that he tenderly cared about, that he was willing to do whatever it takes to bring her back to health. It wasn't out of his own selfishness, because for the first time he began to truly look at someone else's life to see how he could improve it, instead of his own. In the end, he married her a year or so before she died. Although this seems a little corny, and maybe even unrealistic, the topics in this movie speak volumes.
Through watching this movie, I realized a few things:
1) Some boys don't understand how extremely fragile girls are. I'm not trying to bash boys, because there are many guys who do. Girls just seem to never fall for those boys or even give them a second glance most of the time. Even those girls who act like they have it together and are always thinking of others before themselves, can be broken down at the words or even actions of a guy.
2) It takes alot more than a pretty, nice girl to change a boy who doesn't have his heart in the right place. It takes God more than anything and a girl that is willing to work with a guy till the end to touch his heart and help him change.
3) This life is extremely short, and you have to take advantage of everyday that is given to you, whether it is romantically, or with your family, or even just people around you.
Even by senior year in highschool, there are going to be boys that are immature when it comes to their thoughts and actions towards girls. They don't try to do it on purpose, but that can be their nature sometimes. The only true thing that will help pull them through this stage in their lives is God. Not 25% of him though, or even 80%. I am talking about 110% of Him and only Him. God is love, and therefore he is the ultimate source of comfort in this world and He thinks you are significant. I'm not saying become a nun and never look at another boy again, but think of it this way: There is hope in this world for you to find your Landon. Even though it may seem that it's impossible, it isn't. You have to have hope. But at the same time, girls especially need to guard their hearts, because they are too precious to constantly keep breaking because of a boy that wasn't even worth it. You are beautiful beyond measure, whether a man that you have feelings for realizes it or not. Don't expect any less than your Heavenly Father has already given you. So when you think you have a guy that is decent, loves you, but most importantly God, pray to Him about it first, and let him guide you. He will never let you down.
“To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.”- Brandi Snyder
Be patient, and God will show you the man you have been waiting for at the perfect time in your life. Until then, keep growing in your relationship with the Lord and you will be contented until that time.
Love you guys <3
I would say that my friends are predominately Christian, or building a relationship with Jesus Christ. I have seen them all struggle with these problems at one point or another, and so have I. But sometimes, I don't understand why we don't just find that comfort and acceptance in the man we are supposed to be married to before an earthly guy- his name is God! He is married to the church (us) and wants to take care of us, love us, protect us, and make us feel special. All we have to do is love Him back, but many times we want to receive acceptance from earthly things instead of spiritual beings.
After reading her blog, I began to think of the character Mandy Moore played, named Jamie in A Walk to Remember. (Btw, if you haven't seen this movie, rent it, borrow it from a friend, even steal it! Well, don't steal it, but you get the idea.) She was a pastor's daughter, which basically means that everyone expected her to be perfect and not screw up at anything. This led to resentment from her peers and a great understanding for human emotions. When one of the popular boys, named Landon was forced to participate in the school play after getting in trouble, she could see his broken life and wanted to help him. Her only condition? That he wouldn't fall in love with her.
As they began to work on the play, Landon did in fact begin to fall in love with Jamie, but not that premature "love" where a guy just thinks the girl is hot and wants to sleep with her. Jamie set limits for him, and for a while refused to even go on dates with him and define herself as his girlfriend. She didn't need to feel special by him kissing her or even holding her close, although that wasn't something she hated either. As she had shown him by the middle of the movie, she had God taking care of her. He had shown her a love and comfort so deep that it had gotten her through school all those years of girls insulting her and boys treating her like a zebra in a herd of lions.
The part of the movie I loved the most was when Jamie told Landon she had a terminal illness. This is the point where you saw his true character. He was so upset and concerned with this fragile girl that he tenderly cared about, that he was willing to do whatever it takes to bring her back to health. It wasn't out of his own selfishness, because for the first time he began to truly look at someone else's life to see how he could improve it, instead of his own. In the end, he married her a year or so before she died. Although this seems a little corny, and maybe even unrealistic, the topics in this movie speak volumes.
Through watching this movie, I realized a few things:
1) Some boys don't understand how extremely fragile girls are. I'm not trying to bash boys, because there are many guys who do. Girls just seem to never fall for those boys or even give them a second glance most of the time. Even those girls who act like they have it together and are always thinking of others before themselves, can be broken down at the words or even actions of a guy.
2) It takes alot more than a pretty, nice girl to change a boy who doesn't have his heart in the right place. It takes God more than anything and a girl that is willing to work with a guy till the end to touch his heart and help him change.
3) This life is extremely short, and you have to take advantage of everyday that is given to you, whether it is romantically, or with your family, or even just people around you.
Even by senior year in highschool, there are going to be boys that are immature when it comes to their thoughts and actions towards girls. They don't try to do it on purpose, but that can be their nature sometimes. The only true thing that will help pull them through this stage in their lives is God. Not 25% of him though, or even 80%. I am talking about 110% of Him and only Him. God is love, and therefore he is the ultimate source of comfort in this world and He thinks you are significant. I'm not saying become a nun and never look at another boy again, but think of it this way: There is hope in this world for you to find your Landon. Even though it may seem that it's impossible, it isn't. You have to have hope. But at the same time, girls especially need to guard their hearts, because they are too precious to constantly keep breaking because of a boy that wasn't even worth it. You are beautiful beyond measure, whether a man that you have feelings for realizes it or not. Don't expect any less than your Heavenly Father has already given you. So when you think you have a guy that is decent, loves you, but most importantly God, pray to Him about it first, and let him guide you. He will never let you down.
“To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.”- Brandi Snyder
Be patient, and God will show you the man you have been waiting for at the perfect time in your life. Until then, keep growing in your relationship with the Lord and you will be contented until that time.
Love you guys <3
Thursday, February 10, 2011
I Feel that a Poem is in Order
He's never truly loved us,
just wants to divide us
He lives to wreak havoc and tears
Malicious is his name and Painful is his game.
He thinks he is never going to lose.
He deceives, lies, breaks people apart
Causing confusion is to his delight.
He laughs and points at those who suffer
and truly believes he has won the fight.
He's Satan, blacker than the deepest crevice
and sleasier than a snake in the grass
But time will show that he will have time to woe
Because someone has already won the fight.
There is ONE who will not stand for the damage the Enemy has caused. His name is Jehovah, God, the Alpha and Omega, the God of everything there was and is and is to come. I shall stand with my arms stretched out to reach him and will not give up. There are times to be wrong and there are times to be right. There are also times to forgive and put up a fight, for what you believe in. Love is oh so patient, and it is also kind. KIND. That is the part of love we forget. KINDNESS. I will not shade my head in dismay. I will keep my head held high like those around me, and i will not give out bitterness for the enemy to feed himself with. Who can truly be against us if our God is for us?
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have annointed my head with oil; My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." - Psalm 23
just wants to divide us
He lives to wreak havoc and tears
Malicious is his name and Painful is his game.
He thinks he is never going to lose.
He deceives, lies, breaks people apart
Causing confusion is to his delight.
He laughs and points at those who suffer
and truly believes he has won the fight.
He's Satan, blacker than the deepest crevice
and sleasier than a snake in the grass
But time will show that he will have time to woe
Because someone has already won the fight.
There is ONE who will not stand for the damage the Enemy has caused. His name is Jehovah, God, the Alpha and Omega, the God of everything there was and is and is to come. I shall stand with my arms stretched out to reach him and will not give up. There are times to be wrong and there are times to be right. There are also times to forgive and put up a fight, for what you believe in. Love is oh so patient, and it is also kind. KIND. That is the part of love we forget. KINDNESS. I will not shade my head in dismay. I will keep my head held high like those around me, and i will not give out bitterness for the enemy to feed himself with. Who can truly be against us if our God is for us?
"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have annointed my head with oil; My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." - Psalm 23
Divine Authority Over Our Insecurities
Today at school I was talking to my friend named Kendall. Everyday at school we always have so much on our minds to talk about. It seems so depressing when we meet that fork in the road in the hallway to go to our respectable classes. It's awesome because we never run out of topics to cover in our conversations, and they always have hilarious outcomes.
So that got me thinking: Why is it that there are certain friends we can talk to nonstop for hours and then there are those friends who we find it is easier to learn Adv Calc then come up with a conversation starter? I find that more often than not, I face this dilemma on a daily basis, and so do many people that I know- especially when it comes to talking about our faith. Maybe it's because we are insecure? That could be a major factor.
For kids nowadays, there is this major focus on perfection. We see it in magazines, on tv, in books we read, and pretty much everywhere. Somehow in our minds we have to have the perfect clothes, skin tone, hair, friends, and personality. I think anyone can be held accountable for feeling this way at one point or another. The problem is that we don't trust ourselves and even those individuals who stand out very rarely do when they are around kids who might be the polar opposites of them.
Let's face facts. Even if you have the perfect boyfriend, best friends, family, church, grades, whatever, you are going to be insecure whether you show it or not. My insecurity is that I feel if I say something stupid to certain people, then they will shun me for life. That would be fine and dandy if it wasn't for that fact that I am a Christian.
Look at Jesus in the bible. (preferably Matthew 8:2-3 which states:"A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy.") and ( Matt 23:13 "But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut up the kingdom of heaven against men; for you neither go in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in." )
In those verses, Jesus stands out because he doesn't act differently just because of the people he was around. He speaks in a tone that is as commanding towards the Pharisees as it was to the man with leprosy. We find it so hard to stand out and speak up for our beliefs. Jesus was the perfect example to us of what it is like to be yourself. He can do amazing things through us.
I guess to sum all of this up, our insecurities can often get in the way of us reaching out to people. Jesus Christ was the biggest contrast to anyone in the world and yet he did not fear rejection or ridicule from people his age, or even those who were older than him. I'm hoping and praying that us Christian guys and gals will find the courage to come out of our shells to worry less about how ridiculus we could possibly look in front of people who have NO authority to judge us, and more about what our heavenly father will think about us.
So that got me thinking: Why is it that there are certain friends we can talk to nonstop for hours and then there are those friends who we find it is easier to learn Adv Calc then come up with a conversation starter? I find that more often than not, I face this dilemma on a daily basis, and so do many people that I know- especially when it comes to talking about our faith. Maybe it's because we are insecure? That could be a major factor.
For kids nowadays, there is this major focus on perfection. We see it in magazines, on tv, in books we read, and pretty much everywhere. Somehow in our minds we have to have the perfect clothes, skin tone, hair, friends, and personality. I think anyone can be held accountable for feeling this way at one point or another. The problem is that we don't trust ourselves and even those individuals who stand out very rarely do when they are around kids who might be the polar opposites of them.
Let's face facts. Even if you have the perfect boyfriend, best friends, family, church, grades, whatever, you are going to be insecure whether you show it or not. My insecurity is that I feel if I say something stupid to certain people, then they will shun me for life. That would be fine and dandy if it wasn't for that fact that I am a Christian.
Look at Jesus in the bible. (preferably Matthew 8:2-3 which states:"A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy.") and ( Matt 23:13 "But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut up the kingdom of heaven against men; for you neither go in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in." )
In those verses, Jesus stands out because he doesn't act differently just because of the people he was around. He speaks in a tone that is as commanding towards the Pharisees as it was to the man with leprosy. We find it so hard to stand out and speak up for our beliefs. Jesus was the perfect example to us of what it is like to be yourself. He can do amazing things through us.
I guess to sum all of this up, our insecurities can often get in the way of us reaching out to people. Jesus Christ was the biggest contrast to anyone in the world and yet he did not fear rejection or ridicule from people his age, or even those who were older than him. I'm hoping and praying that us Christian guys and gals will find the courage to come out of our shells to worry less about how ridiculus we could possibly look in front of people who have NO authority to judge us, and more about what our heavenly father will think about us.
Matthew 10:33
"but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven."
This verse is no joke, and gives us alot to think about.
P.S: Kendall Scott, I'm really loving this whole blog thing! :D
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Divided We Stand?
It seems like ever since I turned my life over to Christ, there has been a constant struggle. Whether I was fighting with friends or my family, or just struggling with schoolwork and sports, I knew I would be able to get through the week because I had youth on Fridays. When it first started, it was so innocent. There was no drama and everyone loved each other genuinely.
After about half a year of the "honeymoon" stage in our growing group, the Enemy began to attack in many ways. He would tear apart friendships, bring bad influences into the place, or tempt people with lust and selfishness. This was the first time I really started to question whether or not to come to youth group.
There is a saying that says "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." I still don't have any explanation for why I kept attending through the ridicule and drama of others, but God kept calling me to go. Satan would have wanted me to give up and forget the path I had chosen to travel my life on. Fortunately, God fought back so much harder and refused to let go of me and so many others who were doubting their faith and the works He was doing through them.
Even when we got to high school, all of the kids my age believed these years would be better. We had our ups and downs but God always healed us in the end. One major thing that has gotten me in highschool is two faced people. They act one way on day 1 and on day 3 they are a completely different person. To top that off, they act as if nothing they have done or said is wrong. I had a major struggle with handling these people over the summer, and still continue to pray about this issue. The second profile I strongly dislike is those people who are always like "Oh, I love you!" but don't really mean it.
In my mind, actions speak MUCH louder than words, and they always have. If you tell someone you are sorry, I believe God calls you to genuinely mean it. Same goes for if you tell someone you forgive them or that you love them. If you don't have the actions to back it up, then the love isn't truly there. I know I'm only 15 but God has shown me so much love in these past years that I know it is not something to be taken for granted. I think that is the problem with today's youth. We talk the talk, but very rarely do we actually walk the walk.
I think that fake friends and the misconception of love among teens is what has caused so much drama and division among us. We say that we accept and love each other, but do we really mean it? In Jeremiah 1:5 it says " “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
God knew us BEFORE our parents did, and before our friends even did. THAT is true love. This whole "love sign" and paragraph long messages to people we barely know, let alone care about is not love. We will never truly understand the full love of God, and that's just the way it is.
However, you can try to get close to him and love the way He did by just looking in the Bible. See how he handled situations in everyday life while on this earth. I know that things in my youth are topsy turvy right now, with drama and hurt and confusion. But I also know that God has the ultimate plan for everything, and everytime something bad happens it is not meant to disappoint us. It is to assure us that greater things have yet to come. So even if kids aren't getting along and there are different sides in an arguement, whether we accept it or not we are ALL in this together. No matter what our differences or hostilities we stand together as a nation for Christ, one that needs to grow and search for His love again instead of trying to find it in the opposite sex, popularity, and glory.
1 Corinthians 1:10 "I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought."
I pray that this really touched someone today, and have a blessed night :)
After about half a year of the "honeymoon" stage in our growing group, the Enemy began to attack in many ways. He would tear apart friendships, bring bad influences into the place, or tempt people with lust and selfishness. This was the first time I really started to question whether or not to come to youth group.
There is a saying that says "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." I still don't have any explanation for why I kept attending through the ridicule and drama of others, but God kept calling me to go. Satan would have wanted me to give up and forget the path I had chosen to travel my life on. Fortunately, God fought back so much harder and refused to let go of me and so many others who were doubting their faith and the works He was doing through them.
Even when we got to high school, all of the kids my age believed these years would be better. We had our ups and downs but God always healed us in the end. One major thing that has gotten me in highschool is two faced people. They act one way on day 1 and on day 3 they are a completely different person. To top that off, they act as if nothing they have done or said is wrong. I had a major struggle with handling these people over the summer, and still continue to pray about this issue. The second profile I strongly dislike is those people who are always like "Oh, I love you!" but don't really mean it.
In my mind, actions speak MUCH louder than words, and they always have. If you tell someone you are sorry, I believe God calls you to genuinely mean it. Same goes for if you tell someone you forgive them or that you love them. If you don't have the actions to back it up, then the love isn't truly there. I know I'm only 15 but God has shown me so much love in these past years that I know it is not something to be taken for granted. I think that is the problem with today's youth. We talk the talk, but very rarely do we actually walk the walk.
I think that fake friends and the misconception of love among teens is what has caused so much drama and division among us. We say that we accept and love each other, but do we really mean it? In Jeremiah 1:5 it says " “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
God knew us BEFORE our parents did, and before our friends even did. THAT is true love. This whole "love sign" and paragraph long messages to people we barely know, let alone care about is not love. We will never truly understand the full love of God, and that's just the way it is.
However, you can try to get close to him and love the way He did by just looking in the Bible. See how he handled situations in everyday life while on this earth. I know that things in my youth are topsy turvy right now, with drama and hurt and confusion. But I also know that God has the ultimate plan for everything, and everytime something bad happens it is not meant to disappoint us. It is to assure us that greater things have yet to come. So even if kids aren't getting along and there are different sides in an arguement, whether we accept it or not we are ALL in this together. No matter what our differences or hostilities we stand together as a nation for Christ, one that needs to grow and search for His love again instead of trying to find it in the opposite sex, popularity, and glory.
1 Corinthians 1:10 "I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought."
I pray that this really touched someone today, and have a blessed night :)
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Standing Strong
Alot has happened to me in the past few years. There have been tons of hurt and pain and suffering. Sometimes I feel like with everything that has happened, I was too young to handle it, and too weak.
For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. -Phillipians 4:13
Everyone starts to have crushes in middle school, but I never had a major one till 8th grade. I had known this boy for about 3 years from church, and we went to youth together. During this time in my life, I had a low self esteem and did not feel very great about myself. My youth leader was always telling the girls "You are more beautiful than you know. You were created by an awesome God who loves you more than any man ever could." That cut me deep. Through all my complaining about my appearance and looks, He was there for me and continued to love me.
Summer came around and I began to forget about His love and power and the influence he had over me. I came to youth one day and the guy I liked, let's call him Pablo, told me he liked me. Okay so here's a little background on our relationship up until that moment...
1) We met each other at a church meeting and his mom worked at the hospital with my dad.
2) We hit it off amazingly and had so much in common
3) He became my best friend and the first person I would tell secrets to.
4) We had this incredible loving relationship where we would just build each other up through any hard time and tried to be an example to the younger kids. It was sorta like a missionary and his wife, except we were only 14.
So yeah, he tells me he likes me, how beautiful, amazing, funny, and intelligent I am. Not to mention he told me I meant the world to him. Then he kissed me goodnight. After that moment in time I believe my world changed a ton. I couldn't eat or sleep and the next time I saw him, I told him I wanted to forget about that kiss because it was so sudden.
2 weeks later he decided a relationship wasnt worth destroying our friendship and a month later he went to homecoming with my best friend, whom he had just met a couple months before. That ruined my entire freshman year. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, not to mention my respect for myself compleltely disappeared. I wouldn't talk to him at youth or church for 5 months and I cried so often. I blamed God for the pain I felt and the horrible things that had happened to me when in my mind, I had done nothing wrong. Eventually Pablo came around and asked my forgiveness for everything that happened, but it would be a long time before I genuinely forgave him.
On and on he would lead me to thinking he liked me again. I had no idea how to guard my heart. Every time I brought a girl friend to youth, he "fell in love" with them. It tore my heart to shreds over and over again.
My problem was not that I had crappy friends, or that I was ugly or indesirable. The major conflict going on with me was the fact that I had forgotten about the guy who loved me wayyy before I had ever met Pablo. The LORD, GOD ALMIGHTY, who made the heavens, the earth, sun, moon, stars, animals, and everything in the universe loved me FIRST. He had taken care of me all my life, and protected me, and I had been selfish enough to forget about him.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. "
-1 Corinthians 13:4-7
This past summer, I went to this amazing place called Lake Phillpott for Camp Undignified. It was the church's summer camp for our youth group and I was so ready to give my all for God and just be touched my his gentle mercy. He went above and beyond my expectations that week. I made great new brothers and sisters in Christ and I felt Jesus's love so abounding that it overwhelmed me to the point of tears.
I guess through all of this, what I am trying to say is that God loves you SO much. You don't need a boyfriend or a girlfriend to make you content in life. And just because something bad happens in your life, doesn't mean God loves you any less. He never gives you more than you can handle, and only wants to make you stronger in whatever you go through. I had to learn many lessons in the past few years, but through all the pain God was with me, holding my hand. The amazing part about all this though? This wasn't a one time thing. God is still gonna be here for me till the day I die, and I'm going to continue to trust in Him and live for him so I can see him after this life. We haven't got much to lose, so we should take advantage of the lessons God gives us and accept every challenge to know He made the ultimate sacrifice to make any mountain managable.
This was my first blog post, and I would like to thank Kendall Scott for inspiring me to begin one. She is such a beautiful and wonderful reflection of God's love for me, and I have no idea what I would do without her.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. - 1 Corinthians 13:13
For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. -Phillipians 4:13
Everyone starts to have crushes in middle school, but I never had a major one till 8th grade. I had known this boy for about 3 years from church, and we went to youth together. During this time in my life, I had a low self esteem and did not feel very great about myself. My youth leader was always telling the girls "You are more beautiful than you know. You were created by an awesome God who loves you more than any man ever could." That cut me deep. Through all my complaining about my appearance and looks, He was there for me and continued to love me.
Summer came around and I began to forget about His love and power and the influence he had over me. I came to youth one day and the guy I liked, let's call him Pablo, told me he liked me. Okay so here's a little background on our relationship up until that moment...
1) We met each other at a church meeting and his mom worked at the hospital with my dad.
2) We hit it off amazingly and had so much in common
3) He became my best friend and the first person I would tell secrets to.
4) We had this incredible loving relationship where we would just build each other up through any hard time and tried to be an example to the younger kids. It was sorta like a missionary and his wife, except we were only 14.
So yeah, he tells me he likes me, how beautiful, amazing, funny, and intelligent I am. Not to mention he told me I meant the world to him. Then he kissed me goodnight. After that moment in time I believe my world changed a ton. I couldn't eat or sleep and the next time I saw him, I told him I wanted to forget about that kiss because it was so sudden.
2 weeks later he decided a relationship wasnt worth destroying our friendship and a month later he went to homecoming with my best friend, whom he had just met a couple months before. That ruined my entire freshman year. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, not to mention my respect for myself compleltely disappeared. I wouldn't talk to him at youth or church for 5 months and I cried so often. I blamed God for the pain I felt and the horrible things that had happened to me when in my mind, I had done nothing wrong. Eventually Pablo came around and asked my forgiveness for everything that happened, but it would be a long time before I genuinely forgave him.
On and on he would lead me to thinking he liked me again. I had no idea how to guard my heart. Every time I brought a girl friend to youth, he "fell in love" with them. It tore my heart to shreds over and over again.
My problem was not that I had crappy friends, or that I was ugly or indesirable. The major conflict going on with me was the fact that I had forgotten about the guy who loved me wayyy before I had ever met Pablo. The LORD, GOD ALMIGHTY, who made the heavens, the earth, sun, moon, stars, animals, and everything in the universe loved me FIRST. He had taken care of me all my life, and protected me, and I had been selfish enough to forget about him.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. "
-1 Corinthians 13:4-7
This past summer, I went to this amazing place called Lake Phillpott for Camp Undignified. It was the church's summer camp for our youth group and I was so ready to give my all for God and just be touched my his gentle mercy. He went above and beyond my expectations that week. I made great new brothers and sisters in Christ and I felt Jesus's love so abounding that it overwhelmed me to the point of tears.
I guess through all of this, what I am trying to say is that God loves you SO much. You don't need a boyfriend or a girlfriend to make you content in life. And just because something bad happens in your life, doesn't mean God loves you any less. He never gives you more than you can handle, and only wants to make you stronger in whatever you go through. I had to learn many lessons in the past few years, but through all the pain God was with me, holding my hand. The amazing part about all this though? This wasn't a one time thing. God is still gonna be here for me till the day I die, and I'm going to continue to trust in Him and live for him so I can see him after this life. We haven't got much to lose, so we should take advantage of the lessons God gives us and accept every challenge to know He made the ultimate sacrifice to make any mountain managable.
This was my first blog post, and I would like to thank Kendall Scott for inspiring me to begin one. She is such a beautiful and wonderful reflection of God's love for me, and I have no idea what I would do without her.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. - 1 Corinthians 13:13
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