Lately I feel like life is becoming pretty crazy. I have feelings for someone who confuses the heck out of me (I'm pretty sure I confuse them too because I act so stupid around them), I'm getting closer to old friends that seemed to be fading away, and I am actually getting along with the one person who made me miserable for so many years. Through it all though, I've realized that there has been a change in me lately. It's like I have the inkling to want to love people more, and care for them. I want to be a Christ-like example and show others what God is doing in my life. It's dawned on me that most of the time I complain about what's going on in my life or I pray to God to give me things when really He owes me nothing. He has already given me a life for eternity with him. So, I decided that I am going to list everything on here that I am grateful he has given me.
1) A relationship with Him. If it were not for the fact that I was reborn again 2 years ago at ADORE, a youth conference that I went to with my youth group, I have no idea where I would be right now. I would probably be dead or in jail from being involved with the wrong people. He has kept me pure (and I intend to stay that way until marriage) and supplied me with a heart that wants to do his work and bring joy to the lives of others. No other person in this world could even dream of doing that, unless it is through Him.
2) A voice to sing for him and a strong will to BE MY OWN PERSON. All my life I have loved to sing. Whether it was in the shower, at school, or in church, it did not matter. However, I was so shy and contained that voice inside of me, save for a few special people. Now, I am a member of my church's worship team and an upcoming worship leader for my youth group. Which brings me to another topic: leadership. For some reason, the things that others did never really influenced my decisions. I have my own opinion, and when I do, I stick to it. It takes strength from God to be able to hold your ground and not change who you are for the people around you. Even when I have had the opportunity to go my own way or be rebellious, I have not done it, but instead have tried my best to follow Him and lead others instead of being influenced by the lifestyles of the world.
3) My friends. Friends that I know that I could not even begin to imagine living without. I am even grateful for those friends who I no longer talk to any more. Each and every one of them has taught me important life lessons, whether they intended to or not. Through these relationships, I have learned to cope with pain, distrust, conflict, and deceit, but I have also experienced kindness, generosity, humor, and most importantly, love. I never knew it was possible to care about other human beings the way I do, and so many others who know Jesus. It's a love and a passion that God instills in you to change your heart, and it feels so great. Just the fact that I can experience what Jesus meant for love to be is totally worth it. Not only that, but God has saved me from the pain that goes along with relationships for the entirety of 16 years that I have been on this earth as I learn and see from the mistakes and tragedies of others who think they are ready to "date." I'm not sure if I am ready to just yet, but I know that God has someone very special for me, that loves Him more than he loves me, and that is the way it was always meant to be. But for the time being, I continue to pray for that special guy, and when the time is right, we'll both know :)
4) My mom who has never given up on me, even when I gave up on myself. God has blessed her with such a profound amount of knowledge and He has always given her the right words to say to me. Her encouragement and faith in me as her daughter is part of what has made me so strong for all these years. She has been nothing short of perfect for me and I thank Him everyday that I have the privilege to learn from her and allow her to be a role model to me.
5) My physical and mental abilities. I can run, jump, crawl, climb, get good grades, and most importantly, play tennis. There are so many children in this world who grow up with mental disorders that prevent them from learning or make it very difficult for them. I made straight a's all through elementary and middle school, and have a fairly good GPA in high school. But I could not have done this without God's help, and the patience and peace that he has given me to stick to it and work hard. Also, I have 20/20 vision, a healthy body, I can walk while others cannot, and I can play a sport that I have begun to fall in love with. I know the passions that God has given me now are going to be for an awesome use later on.
6) The things that God has yet to do in my life. I know that God is a just God, and he wants to nurture me into a strong daughter and warrior to aid him in advancing His kingdom. I am thankful that he chose me when there are so many others that have yet to know Him. I am thankful for the opportunities I have been given to witness to others and opportunities I will be given in the future. I truly cannot wait to see what He has in store for me, it gives me chills just thinking about it. And the fact that he will always have people by my side, and I for them, makes it even more exciting. There's really nothing I could possibly complain about. An eternity with the King of Kings sounds better than an earthly life full of luxuries.
Psalm 27:4One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
