Sophmore year was officially over on Friday, and what a year it's been! So many things have changed. for one, we're all a year older. Also, we're another year wiser. We have gone from being underclass sophmores to upper class juniors. In another year, we will be seniors graduating from high school and going our separate ways to learn, get jobs, and hopefully get married to raise a family.
I know changes are a part of life, but I think it is truly amazing how fast they can come about. One minute you have a friend, the next moment you're complete strangers. You trust somebody with your life, and they hurt you a week later. Especially in high school, changes can be quite painful. In my case, it was also damaging.
When you've had a friend for 5 years, it's not an easy thing when you have to tell them that the both of you can no longer be friends. No matter how much you try to put it behind you, it still stings every once in a while. I lost a friend towards the beginning of the 2011 year, and it still sucks looking back on it and seeing little by little how the friendship had already crumbled before we ended it. After that, I pretty much had a lukewarm attitude towards God, although I rarely opened up my feelings to the friends in my life that I probably should have talked about it to.
It feels like when things change in your life, you forget who you are living life for, unless the changes make you happy or relieved. I know for a fact that I have let my relationship with Christ become lukewarm, which is the last thing I want it to be as I continue going to church and try to reach out to others. I think that we often take the good things in life for granted, so that when something bad happens, we aren't prepared spiritually or emotionally, which leads to sadness or a detachment from Christ.
I am tired of always responding to changes in my life that way. I know in my heart that God makes everything happen for a reason: to make us stronger and wiser than we were before. But, so often I have to pray that God gives me the faith to trust in what He is doing in my life so that I don't have to worry as much. Fortunately, whenever something changes in your life, God always has a blessing around the corner.
It seems like with any friend I have lost, another friend has taken their place, and if I don't meet someone else, I feel content anyways. Let's be honest, if you have a friend who consantly makes you feel insignificant and mistreasts you, when things change and you go seperate ways, it's no too bad. This year God really tested me in making final decisions in who I was going to let into my life, and who I was going to have to let go of. I couldn't be happier with the results, because I finally know who my true friends are and can love them as Christ has always loved me, and try to love the ones who hurt me.
In my mind, changes don't always feel good, but from experience, something beautiful always comes out of them. Even if the sun doesn't shine for you on he days you feel that you need it, God is always going to be there, and his timing is perfect. If you stop worrying, your aspect of life can change as well. You will be happier, patient, and have better relationships with the ones you care about.
A couple of days ago I went to a bible study called SOl. We talked about being religious versus having a relationship with Jesus. I feel like lately I've made being Christian a chore. I try to pray everyday, read my bible, and get certain things done everyday. If I don't, then I feel like a failure and that I am not good enough for God. In turn, I become hypocritical and that is definitely a turn-off to non believers and believers alike. This year I want that to change in my life. Starting this summer. I'm tired of just dragging through life with a Christian label but not really making a change the way God calls us to.
I am very excited for what God has in store for my future and the future of my friends who are on similar walks with Christ. I feel that we are going to be in complete awe of the Creator in more points of our lives and go onto completely new levels with Him. Even though it will be so hard, I am willing to change for the one who made the ultimate sacrifice for those who never deserved it. Changes are a great thing when you have the perfect person to control it :)
“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”
-Anonymous
