Well, it's been forever, but I've had alot of things on my mind the past 4 months. So far, junior year has been pretty crazy. Kids are driving, dating new people, taking AP classes, and getting drunk. Through all of this, I've tried to really stand out in the crowd and show everyone who I'm living for, but it hasn't worked. On top of all that. I feel like I'm losing more and more Christian friends that I need in my life. The days dwindle on and I don't even know who to trust. I hurt more and more and feel so insignificant. I know it sounds selfish but sometimes I feel used by the world and the guys in it. But I can't move on and act like I don't love the people who have upset me. I've tried focusing my time on church, younglife, bible classes, campaigners, and youth, but it's not enough. I want to help people that are hurting like I am, even if they don't accept me at first. And I dont want to lose the friends that I already have. I love them too much and my heart is too attached to them to ever let that happen. We have had falling outs but God makes everything work out better in the end. Yeah, I'm not happy right now, in fact, I'm miserable. But I know I shouldn't be. This life is too important to focus on the negatives. God, please show me the way. I need to hear your voice. Come and fill my emptiness. Restore the relationships that have faded away. I'm never gonna give up. Your children are too precious to give up on. Tay, I'm sorry. It's been a rough beginning of school. But I just want you to know that no matter what I'm there for you. We'll have our ups and downs but don't you EVER think I'm going to leave you. I care about you too much to be that petty. You're too beautiful and special to be weighed down by the things that hurt you, ok? Just remember, the pain never lasts forever. God loves us too much to let that happen. Keep the faith. <3
"I'm still gonna pray
When things are good
And when things don't go my way
I will be strong
No matter what I go through
'Cause in the end
I'm still gonna pray"
Love you
