He is the Light

Last Friday at youth group I was talking to one of my good friends about God, joking around, and listening to music.  I went to get something to drink and when I came back, he was gone. Later on when he came back out of nowhere, it gave me the chance to fellowship with my other brothers and sisters in Christ.  My friend came back in the room holding tears back.

That night, he told me that one of his best friends since childhood had committed suicide two days earlier, and his body had just been found.  I could not believe it.  How was he able to hold it together, smile, and try to joke around with me about it?  However, the thing that was really hard to understand was why his friend would do that to himself.  I have never been so rock bottom that I thought the only solution was to take my own life.

"When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles. "(Psalm 34:17)

I do not know this guy's story, but I do know that he was the son of a single mom who loved him dearly.  He was her only son.  And the fact that he couldn't recognize that love that she had for him really breaks my heart.  But, what kills me more than anything is the fact that he had someone who could provide him with so much more comfort than his mother ever could, and that person's name is Jesus.  He is able to calm any storm, to break down your spiritual barriers, and encompass you in a romance that you could never begin to understand.

For example, I love it how God uses his people to show people what love truly looks like.  That night, a boy from my school that I did not know well just happened to be visiting youth that night.  He was able to see a bunch of people from different backgrounds and walks to come together and support each other in a time of tragedy.  It's times like these when I get really excited and happy to know that I made the right choice when I accepted God into my life three years ago. 

Worship that night was incredible.  I felt like I just let go of everything, and handed it all to God to handle.  I know he is so much bigger than my issues and I am thankful for that, because he has the perfect answers to all of my questions. He made me realize something that night: Life is too short to become absorbed in the troubles of everyday life.  I have a purpose that God is waiting to fulfill in me everyday.  I just have to let him into my heart to mold and change it into the soul that it was always meant to be. 

It's like a song I've been obsessed with lately on Spirit Fm by Neworldson:

It's so much brighter living in your world
Savior what you did for me
You gave me something I want everyone to see
When we sttumble and it all goes wrong
Only you can make it right
So I say
Oh oh oh oh oh
I'm learning to be the light

I'm slowly learning how to let God guide my steps and trying not to worry so much about where the steps are going to take me.  I know that He would never lead me somewhere that he is not going to be already.  As long as I follow my heart in what God is telling me, I'm not so worried about what the future may bring anymore.  I want to be a light for others to see, so that they will want to feel a change in their souls as well :)

"You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body".  -CS Lewis